Mei Xiang's silent witness (sequel to Diary of Mei Xiang)
by Shadowdapple of Thunderclan
Summary: Mei Xiang has been kidnapped from her family the night she turned sixteen. Now separated from her family, she has to live with the overpowering grief from Chun Hua's death alone. Or will she? A certain soul awaits for her in the shadows. He can make her feel whole again. Come follow Mei Xiang through another journey into adulthood. Life hurts. rated K for safety.
1. 1 year later November 19th

**Hey, my peoples! This sequel is going to be based a year after Mei Xiang was kidnapped. So if things are a little hazy as to any events, then it is because I was looking at other books I've written with this.**

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1 Year Later- November 19th: 

Dear Diary,

It has been one year since I was kidnapped. Everyday, I wish for my family to find me. Fa, Guang, and Guowei are the only people whose names I've learned during my time here. They were the ones who bound and gagged me that starry night. Fa is the enormous leopard that I first met. He has tried to make several attempts to bed me. I am grateful to some of the females in his gang. They warn him off and I now sleep with them for protection. I am still frightened. I don't know where they are taking me. I have tried to find out. They just say, that their boss sent them to find me. I'm going to keep trying though.  
I miss my family. Wren, Minzhe, Zinnia, and Flicka are a year old now. Mama and Baba should be married by now. It has been so long since I've seen anyone or heard anything. We have been traveling seems like every time we stop to make camp, we are back up on the road again. Now that I think of it, my guards and I have actually walked for three days straight with only a 30-minute break for meals. I need to go. My guards are coming back.


	2. December 25 Merry Christmas

**Merry Late Christmas! Or whatever you guys celebrate!**

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December 25th: Merry Christmas

Dear Diary,

Merry Christmas, my friend. I wonder what my family is up to now. I've heard from my guards that the Jade Palace are sending out a country-wide alert for my return. I keep having these nightmares, of Mama coming after me on the mountains and she is trying so hard to come to me. Then one of my guards kills her under a rock slide. I wish that someone would find me. I am missing out on so much. I kinda want Naoko too. I still remember our first encounter. He made me feel safe and whole. I want him to rescue me if my family can't. Diary, I hope you and I can survive the holidays and can one day go home.


	3. February 10th: I'm Lost

**I'm so sorry you guys for not updating in so long. I've had writer's block and then I had school work. Good news though! I took the December ACT for the first time and my score was a 23. I want your guy's honest opinion. Should I have Mei Xiang's parents beg for forgiveness in the next chapter or wait a while? Tell me in your comments! I live for your reviews and favorites of my story! It makes my day when I'm feeling down about school. So Read, REview, And Enjoy!**

 **~Shadowdapple~**

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February 10th: I'm Lost

Dear Diary,

I am so scared. The wind howls like a mother wailing for a lost cub and the rain pounds the earth like a hammer striking a nail. My guards are skipping my food rations for the week. Apparently, I am being punished. The females are more sympathetic. But they have to obey too. I am to not be fed or watered, Fa said. There are nights when I lay awake reading you by the firelight. Those nights are when I hurt the most. Right now we are about 800 miles from my hometown. I learned that from Chow, Huian, and Ai. Ai's name means loving and she does tend to live up to her name. Huian is pretty sarcastic and she won't let me wallow in self-pity if she catches me doing it. Her name, however, means the opposite of how she acts. Her name means kind peace. Chow's name means summertime and she is warm and comfy to snuggle up to. They help me when I am feeling down. But they know that I don't want to be here, I want to go home. Diary, I need to put you away. Fa is coming back. Looks like he wants to try to bed me again. I'll fight him if I have to.


	4. March 28th: Let me Be in Peace

**Hey, everyone! Sorry for not updating in a while. I've been sick and with all of my school work piling up on me, I just haven't found enough time. So I am making a sacrifice of my school time to make a quick update. So everyone please read and review. And in the previous chapter, I haven't seen anyone comment on anything. Please do. That's all. Happy Reading!**

 **~Shadowdapple~**

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March 28th: Let Me Be In Peace

Dear Diary,

Naomi's and Bingwen's birthdays have passed. They are now a year older. Oh, how I miss them. I have become desolate all day. Fa slapped me three times to get my attention. I told him that I want to go home. He smirked. "You are going home," He snarled. I blinked startled. "The Emperor has requested your presence in Stone City. we have another surprise waiting for you there too." A sick realization dawned on me, my silent friend as I remembered just who lives in that town. And just what may be my other "Surprise." Fa laughed menacingly at my shocked look. "The little kitty is shocked silent!" He spit in my face before trying to grope me. I snapped his wrist, not totally frozen by shock and gazed into the near horizon. I can't go back. I just can't. Fa hissed a curse before stalking away, clutching his broken wrist. I feel so alone, Diary. I just want to be in peace, so I can be in my memories of my family until I am able to go home.


	5. April 27: Happy Birthday, Cobra

**Hey everyone! Spring Break has officially today started for me! I went to school long enough to get my classes for next year down and then I came home. Now I am working on this story and some others and the last bit of homework. So I hope you enjoy reading! Before I go...*smacks myself for continuing talking* I been thinking about making another story. I will continue this one, don't worry. But I am also a big fan of Warrior Cats by Erin Hunter. So I was thinking about making a fanfic based off of her books.** **I've been thinking about making one, but I need ideas. I don't want to copy other story plot lines. And also if you want to add an OC to it, then I'll leave an application for it. All the clans will be the same as they are in the book. I will let you know when I have enough OCs. If I can't get your OC in the right spot you want it in I'll try to work it in somewhere else. Thanks!**

 **Name:**

 **Appearance:**

 **eye color:(blue, etc. nothing extremely weird)**

 **Personality:**

 **Gender:**

 **Rank:(warrior, queen,etc)**

 **Mate/Kits/Apprentice:**

 **Kin:(mother, father,etc)**

 **littermates:**

 **disability:(Optional)**

 **any thing special:(optional)**

~Shadowdapple~

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April 27th: Happy Birthday, Cobra

Dear Diary,

Today is Cobra's birthday. He will be 14. Naomi is now 15 and Bingwen is 17. I miss them so much. Chow and Ai saw me drawing a picture of Cobra and they asked me who it was. I told them that he was my adopted brother and comrade and the adopted father for several of my children. They murmured their sympathies and then asked me why I was drawing a picture of him. "Today is his birthday. He will be 14 years old. I'm 3 years older than him. We were really good friends and he asked me if one day when we both are all grown up and have our children their homes, if me and him could try to be together. I promised him that we would try. I just hope he is having a good birthday without me there..." I trailed off not wanting to cry in front of them. Ai bent down awkwardly as she was expecting Guang's child. I don't know whether I should feel sorry for her. Guang will not be happy if she bears a daughter. I will be though. I will love Ai's daughter/son because she took care of me in my darkest moments. "Mei Xiang, we know that you want to return to your real home. I want to help, believe me I do, but if anyone disobeys orders, then things get rather messy. Please try to understand?" I looked up into her pleading brown eyes and nodded silently. "Good. Now come along and let's get ready for another day of walking shall we?" Chow said smiling gently. I looked into her green eyes briefly and nodded before gathering my things. We each walked on either side of Ai in a companionable silence. It felt nice to find friends.


	6. June 9th: Happy Birthday Wai gong

June 9th: Happy Birthday, Wai gong

Dear Diary

Today is Wai Gong's Birthday, little book. I don't know his exact age, but I do know that he is really old. I hope he is having a good day. I really miss him. The way I could get him to smile and how he would stand on his staff just so we could be eye to eye. We never really agreed on much, but I really miss him. We have a little over 2 months before we reach Stone City. I really thought I escaped that place for good. I'm so sorry Ming Hua. I wish we didn't have to go back there.


	7. June 30th: Happy Birthday, my little man

June 30th: Happy Birthday, my little man

Dear Diary,

Today is Xiao Dan's Birthday. I wonder what that little goof ball is up to now? Is he safe? Well fed? Clothed properly? In a dry shelter with a bed? I wish I was home to go see him. I just want to brush my paw across his face once more. To feel his strong little paws grip my tail as if I will vanish forever. I really miss him. He seemed so wise for such a little boy.

Diary my baby is not a baby anymore. He is turning 12 as soon as the sun reaches its peak. I am making him a crochet blanket for his birthday. My captors don't understand why I am doing this except my friends. They understand that I am always going to do something for my loved ones on their birthdays. Xiao Dan's blanket is a blue blanket because that is his favorite color with bits of my fur entwined in it. i will send it to him when we reach the next town. That should be Shanghai. So many memories. That is where we celebrated Bingwen's first birthday with Naomi and me together. I really want to go home. I want to be with my babies again. To be where my daughter was laid to rest. Why can't they just let me go home? I need to celebrate Xiao Dan's birthday with him. He already lost one mama, he doesn't' need to lose another.

My dear little friend, I was reading the little note he wrote in you before he went to live with Master Bear and Delan, I was so touched by his little words. Oh, how they made my heart ache. I want to hold him just like I did those many nights on the road and sing the sweet lullabies I learned from the other tigers from my past. It doesn't help the fact that I'm still hurting over Chun Hua's death. Naoko said that it took him two years for the pain of his siblings' deaths to fade some. I don't know if it'll be the same for me. After all, isn't time supposed to heal wounds. So why aren't mine healing? Happy Birthday, my little man. I love you and I miss you.


	8. July 4th: Painful Memories

**I'm sorry everyone. I've had a lot on my plate recently. I've also been working on all my other fanfics and been working on some new ones. So please read and comment. I need some ideas for the next chapter.**

 **~Shadowdapple~**

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July 4th: Painful Memories

Dear Diary,

Hello, my old friend. It has been a few days, hasn't it. I've been so busy. We are now in Stone City. I'm hiding from everyone. I don't want to see anyone who might remember me. You can understand why. I am writing this next to where Ming hua is buried.

Ai, Chow, and Huian are with me. They saw the pathetic little stone that the priest gave her. They eyed it with disgust. "She was such a sweet little girl to have no marker for anyone to remember her by" Huian said. I glanced up at her and then back down to where I smiled sadly to where Ai was trying to get her twins away from my pencil. "My parents hated my sister and I. I don't know why they did. They just did. I promised her that we would escape one day. I did after she died, but here I am. I can't help but feel that I've failed my best friend and sister." I stopped as tears started to drip down my face.

They were all stunned into silence. They have never heard this part of my life before. Yeah, sure I've told them things about me. That's why we are friends. Friends shouldn't keep secrets from each other, but I don't tell them every single thing about me. It hurt me not telling them. "Oh, Mei Xiang. You've never told us." I glanced back at them and then at the stone that I used to stare hours at for years. "I hoped it wouldn't hurt quite as much coming back if I never said anything bad. Only good. There was barely any good. But there was some good. It still hurts." I brushed my paw against the stone and pulled the weeds away to make _her_ grave presentable.

Ai named her children Meili and Bolin. Bolin's name meant gentle rain and Meili's name means beautiful. I named her. I wanted to have a child named that when I am older. Guang didn't want his daughter. Just like I predicted. But he didn't abuse Ai too much since she did bear him a son. I keep her safe when he tries to hurt her. No one should have to hurt just because they are female. I even watch Meili when Guang comes by to check on his family. When he asks about the spawn, Ai just says that the prisoner has offered to keep her away. I know that Ai has to be cold towards her baby girl on purpose, but every time I hear that icy voice, I feel a shiver run down my spine.

Fa is making me walk through town, diary. I don't want to. I even kicked him in the tenders to make my point. _Twice._ What part of "I don't want to relive my life" doesn't that flea-bitten scumbag understand? Diary, do you think anyone will remember me? I don't think they will? I've been gone so long. I remember them because some of them made my life a little brighter and some of them have made my life darker. As I was passing by the headstone store, I saw a beautiful headstone. However, it costs 5,000 yuan. Ai, Chow, and Huain couldn't stand to see that beautiful stone just sitting there waiting for someone who doesn't deserve it. So Ai asked Guang if he could give her 1, 000 yuan for it. Of course, she told him that she wanted to make me carry it through town as punishment and so he gave her the money. Fa overheard them and when he asked her how much it cost, his eyes bugged out, he forked over 9,000 yuan to buy an even better stone than the one we saw.

I got 10,000 yuan just by having Ai acting as if I needed to be punished and humiliated. So far it worked. The man who worked the headstone place was Mr. Kinoshowa. He didn't remember me in the slightest. Ai, being a tiger, introduced me as her niece and said that she has a daughter who died on the side of the road outside of town. "Sir, I'm terribly sorry to bother you. But you see, I have just lost my daughter. Her name was Chun hua." I flinched at that name. Ai knew that it would hurt me to hear it, but the people here wouldn't know that name and it made it more credible if I showed emotion. "This is my oldest daughter, Xinma. My two youngest children. Bolin and Meili. My husband is digging her grave currently and my friends and family and I came to buy her a headstone. We would like to carve it ourselves but to buy the stone and to pay you for the carving initially." He swallowed as if she laid a spell on him. "Of-of course. I'm so sorry for your loss." She nodded as she handed him the 9000 yuan. He grabbed the stone she wanted and the tools to carve it. As I carried out of the store to make it look authentic. Once we left the town's limits, I ran with the stone to the peach tree.

 _I hate seeing my sister lying there as if she is just sleeping. The coroner tried to clean all the disease off of her before the funeral. Everyone in town came to see her be buried. Everyone that is except my parents. I shuddered as I gazed at her and the memory of her last day replayed in my head. "Mei Xiang, would you like to stay with us for a while?" I looked up from my reverie to see Mrs. Kinashowa and her husband. She was heavy with child and had her two-year-old son with her. He was holding her paw, sucking his other._

 _"Why is Ming Hua sleeping?" he asked. I flinched and she scolded him softly. His father walked him away to talk to him about why Ming Hua was "sleeping." I looked up at Mrs. Kinashowa. "Thank You for the wonderful offer, but my parents wouldn't like that." She nodded understandingly and let me know that I will always be welcomed in her house. I nodded numbly. She patted my head gently before walking off to join her son and husband. Once she left, I continued staring at my dead sister._

 _People came and went. They gave me their condolences and the other female adult tigers in town were trying their best to comfort me. "All I want is more than anything is to have Ming Hua back." Is what I kept saying. They would say poor baby and other things and hug me till I thought I couldn't breathe._

 _It was sunset when I was left by myself and the coffin with my sister. The coroner would be coming by to bury my sister once the sun fully set. "I will keep my promise to you, Ming Hua. I love you." I leaned over the lid of the coffin the best I could and kissed her head. Then I walked away leaving my sister alone under the peach tree._

 _"Father! Please!" My sister wailed as he wound his whip in one paw. I thrust myself in front of her and took the brunt of the strike. "Mei Xiang!" Ming Hua whimpered. I wiped the blood from my mouth as my father's back was turned to talk to my baby brother. "I'm ok," Longwei stepped forward with a bowl full of sulfuric acid. "Mei, Mei?" He whispered looking at me. "Ming Ming?" He whispered again looking at my sister. "I HATE you." Then the acid was poured on us. We flinched and bit back the wails of agony deep inside. I looked at my cute 2-year-old little brother. He shared Ming Hua's eyes. Those eyes were hard and cruel. Not soft and gentle. He turned and kicked my sister in the side and spat on my face. My mother was peering into the room from the kitchen. Her eyes shone with pride as she saw what her son did. I wiped the spittle off and inched over to my sister._

 _I could feel Father's footsteps through the floor. He was going to begin the methodical beating. I reached Ming Hua and pulled her close. She was so frail and she clung on to me for dear life. Father snapped Ming's leg under his powerful paw and grabbed me by the neck. "You worthless pieces of crap," He snarled. Spit was flying everywhere. "I've told you and your sister to get your flea-bitten carcasses in this house before the sun touches the trees. And what do you do? You make it back as the sun touches the trees. Well, we will fix you up, right now." Ming Hua was crying as she clutched her bleeding leg. Father lifted me up as I kicked my feet feebly in the air. Breathing was getting harder every second. Then he slammed me into the wall. I saw stars before I saw his fist connect with my face. "Father, please. Stop! We won't be late ever again!" We pleaded this as we ran about the house and were beaten with whips that had glass shards stuck in them and bamboo shafts that had glass spikes sticking out of them. For three hours we were beaten. Once sundown, came, Father took his leave. "You two go without supper. Get to bed." "Yes, Father." We trembled as we shakily got up. I wrapped Ming Hua's leg in a splint between two boards outside and carried her to bed. As she was falling asleep, I wiped some sweat off of her forehead. "One day, we will get out of here. Then I will find you somewhere where you will be loved." I promised her._

 _Ming Hua and I bowed to him before scampering out of the Dojo. "Mei Xiang, do you think we can ever get away from them?" I glanced at my sister. "I don't know. I know that one day, I will be out of there and I WILL take you with me. They won't be able to stop me." She nodded and stepped closer so our tails could entwine. "Do you really want to travel all that much?" I smiled gently. "What I really want is to find a home with a loving family, who will love us both no matter what. I will travel the whole world to find a family like that." She nodded again. "Could we look in the Valley of Peace too?" I squeezed her paw. "Of Course."_

I sat down next to my sister's grave cradling her new headstone. I could hear my comrades catching up. They were panting. I wiped my wet eyes as the tears trickled down my face. I hate it here. I hate that they took her away. I hate that I'm so weak to let just the memory of what happened here break me. I'm supposed to be strong. Hardcore. For my sister. I glared at my claws and I clawed the stone. Chow tried to get me to stop but I shrugged her off. Slowly, words and numbers were etched into formation. It read:

 _Ming Hua Ping_

 _Born: November 18th?_

 _Death: October 20th?_

 _A loving sister who the world snatched away before having the chance to shine. I will always love you, Ming Hua._

 _Love, Mei Xiang._

Huian lacked the normal sarcastic demeanor I've grown accustomed too as she read the words on the tombstone. "Oh, Mei Xiang. I'm so sorry." I softly nodded my head and ripped the offending stone covering my sister's grave away. Glaring daggers at the piece of stone, I threw it as far as I could towards the town. Then, diary, I laid her new tombstone on her grave. It complemented it beautifully. I miss her so much, dear friend. I hung my head and pressed it to the mound of dirt and cried. Ai, Chow, and Huian didn't say a word. But then again they didn't have too. just being there was enough for me.


	9. July 13th: Happy Birthday, Mama

July 13th: Happy Birthday, Mama

Dear Diary,

I honestly don't know how to begin. First off, I've found my parents' house, but I make sure to stay away form there. I also visited the old dojo where Ming and I learned Kung Fu. But today is a different day. Tigress is another year older. I miss her. But I'm not dwelling on the past today, Diary. Mama wouldn't of wanted me to do that. So today, I am going to think about the now. Bolin and Meili are so cute. Ai is letting me keep Meili for safety from her father. I made her promise me that Bolin will not grow up hating her. She promised. So Meili is my foster daughter right now. I love her. She reminds me of Wolfess. Fa doesn't understand how I am willing to watch and care for a slobbering infant when he is so much more "handsome.' I made it clear that babies are young and innocent and I've always loved babies. Also, I can't help but take care of someone who is lost and hurting. It goes against my grain. He grew really quiet when I told him that.

I think I stunned him or something, but he has been a lot more nicer lately. Like for instance, he as brought me larger meals and he has willingly helped me make stuff for my family. I made Mama a new quipo and he helped pick out the fabric and sew it together. He even walked me to the mailing place to mail the quipo to Mama. He told me that he hasn't told his mother anything since he first left. So you know what I told him, my friend, I told him that he needs to write to his mother and see how she is and let her know that he is still alive. He looked kinda embarrassed, but he agreed to write a letter as long as I proofread it. I agreed and left to go tend to Meili.

Fa has taken an interest in Meili too. I told him that he my watch her briefly. He looked so surprised, but I told him that if Meili likes him and he does good with her, then I'll think about cooperating more often. Right now I'm laughing my butt off thinking about his face after I said that. I took a break from Meili to write and she is napping right now anyway. His face was priceless! I'm writing this down as I sit by a stream.


	10. August 10th: The Emperor

August 10th: The Emperor

Dear Diary,

I woke up just as the sky was turning to dawn. Fa was hovering over Meili's cradle I had him fashion for me. "Sorry to wake you, Mei Xiang. I just couldn't stay away for too long." I smiled. He can't help but love Meili. He'll make the right girl happy one day. "it's fine, Fa." I walked up behind him, making sure to keep some distance between us. "Was there anything else that would've required you to come in my corner this early?" He looked away and gently brushed one of his huge paws against Meili's face. I swallowed back all the distrust and bad memories and touched his shoulder with my paw. "Is it that bad, that you can't tell your prisoner?" He smirked at the old nickname he gave me. Now it is just used as banter among us. He said that after all this is over, he'll take me back home. "Well, today is the day that the Emperor will see you. I don't know if you remember, but when I hinted that there was going be someone else to see too. " I nodded as he fell silent.

Meili took the moment to wake up crying from hunger. It saved him from answering at that moment. "Xū, bǎobèi. Méiguānxì. Māmā huì zhǔnbèi hǎo zǎocān." I heard Fa say as I quickly found her some milk. He sounded so sweet and soothing. I turned around and saw him lifiting her up. "Here you are." I smiled gratefully as he handed her over. I quickly gave her the milk and watched as he watched her and me. "I-I-i better go before everyone else wakes up and make sure we are presentable for the Emperor." I smiled when he stuttered. He turned on his heel and walked back to the main camp.

I don't like him, diary. Not in that way. But he is becoming a good friend. I hastily finished feeding Meili before I dressed myself in the new quipo that I made for myself. If the Emperor wants to see me, then I'll show him that I don't need him or any thing else he might have to offer.

When the sun was halfway across the sky, my guards came to escort me to the palace. I wrapped Meili up in a small blanket to sheild her from the sun. Ai quickly leaned over when no one was looking and pressed a small kiss to her daughter's head. "Mei, please take her with you if you ever get out of here." I nodded and laid my tail on her shoulder as a sighn of comfort before walking ahead. The walk to the palace wasn't so bad. I had my face and head covered up, so most people won't recognize me. They probably think that I am the Emperor's concubine returning with his child.

When we entered the Emperor's palace, there were three people I wished to never see again. But that doesn't' matter. Fa just brushed right past them and I knew that recognized me but they probably were shocked to see me with a child. We walked into the throne room and a booming voice that once shook me to my knees called out, "Fa! Have you brought the girl?" I looked up to see him. Emperor Wu. "Yes, your excellency. I've found and brought Mei Xiang." Fa bowed low to the ground. Emperor Wu came over and looked me over. "Uncover your head, child." I looked at Fa and he nodded softly.

I took the wrapping off of my head and accommodated Meili. I could hear my parents gasp. I guess they forgot that I had my mother's looks. My mother used to be the jewel of China before she married my father. I looked at them briefly, feigning ignorance and walked up to the Emperor of China. "Greetings, Emperor." I murmured as I curtsied. He smiled as he recognized me. "Mei Xiang, look at you! You've grown into a beautiful lady." I blushed as he hugged me. "I heard about Ming Hua. May the Great Oogway bless her soul. I smiled again. Fa looked at Meili sleeping in my arms and it drew the emperor's attention. "My! Who is this beauty?" I pulled the wrapping down from her face a little more so he could take a better look. "This is Meili. My foster daughter." He smiled and gently touched her cheek. "Mei Xiang, I didn't know you were married or had a family?" I grimaced which caused him to chuckle. "No, your majesty. I am not married. I just take in children who are in need and raise them as my own until they are ready to find a new family or can live on their own. Meili is the youngest besides my daughter, Wolfess." He beamed again and asked if I had any paintings of them. I handed Fa the baby and reached into my pack for the painting I got for my birthday. "This is my whole family. The children surrounding me, are my kids. I took them in while I was traveling and raised them on my own. They now have adopted families except for my daughter, Chun Hua." His face grew grave at the mention of my daughter. "What do you mean?" I sadly smiled at my daughter's face. "She got Blood Cough and died. I buried her close by to where I was living when Fa found me." He nodded and complimented me on my family. I thanked him.

"Well now." He said. "I do believe that you would like to rest before you go home?" My eyes gleamed hopefully at him as Fa bounced a fussy Meili. He turned back to the thrones and smiled broadly. "Xinwen, daughter! Your friend has returned!" A beautiful leopardess came down the stairs to where her father stood. "Mei Xiang? Is it really you?" She opened her arms and I ran into them. "Hello again, Xinwen. I can't thank you enough for being my friend as a child. Hopefully we can make up lost time?" She nodded and smiled. "Father, may I take them to their rooms?" When her father gave consent, we walked arm in arm. She cooed over Meili the whole time, to which I'm sure Ai was happy for. I stayed in Xinwen's room upon her insistence. She had a small cradle brought in and she pushed me into the bath. "Xinwen, I can bathe myself!" She laughed and said that now it is her turn to pamper me for a bit. We spent the whole night talking and watching Meili sleep.

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 **Here is what Fa said:**

 **Xū, bǎobèi. Méiguānxì. Māmā huì zhǔnbèi hǎo zǎocān = Shush, baby. It's alright. Mama will get breakfast ready**


	11. August 11th: I'm Sorry, But I Can't

p style="text-align: center;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"August 11th: I'm Sorry, But I Can't/span/p  
p style="text-align: left;"span style="font-family: Verdana, Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px;"Dear Diary,/span/p  
div id="content_wrapper" class="xcontrast " style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px;"  
div id="content_wrapper_inner" style="max-height: 999999px; border-left: 1px solid #d4d4d4; border-right: 1px solid #d4d4d4; border-bottom: 1px solid #d4d4d4; outline: 0px; padding: 0.5em;"  
div style="max-height: 999999px; padding-left: 10px; padding-top: 10px;"  
p style="max-height: 999999px;"Xinwen and I had a lot of fun talking last night. She asked me a question that I'm just not sure I can answer. I have a family back at the Jade Palace to return to. I also can't stay here. She wanted to see if I could become her lady in waiting. It was a lot better than a servant and we can still be the best of friends, but I just don't know. I have to give her my answer today. She had a shrine built for me and Ming Hua when she was told that we died. Yea. my birth parents claimed that I was dead not too long after I "ran away." I came out of the bathroom, to find a note on the bed. It read:/p  
p style="max-height: 999999px;"emDear Mei,/em/p  
p style="max-height: 999999px;"emI took Meili down for breakfast already. My father wants you to be dressed in your finest. I knew that you probably didn't have any, so I laid out one of mine. We seem to be about the same size now. Anyway, your parents are here. I asked if we could have a private breakfast just like old times. My father agreed and asked if they would be willing to wait. They said sure. Reluctantly. See you soon!/em/p  
p style="max-height: 999999px;"emLove,/em/p  
p style="max-height: 999999px;"emXinwen/em/p  
p style="max-height: 999999px;"I smiled at the note and quickly found the quipo she laid out for me. It was silk and a pretty ruby red color. I fished the ruby choker that Aunt Viper and Uncle Crane got me and placed it around my throat. I admired myself in the mirror before hurrying down to the dining room. As I stepped inside, Xinwen smiled and rose from her seat. I could see other important officials sitting down. Of course, I forgot when Ming and I were here, we wouldn't actually sit and eat with them, we would stand around and wait for Xinwen to tell us that she needed something. "Mei Xiang! Come in!" I smiled at her hospitality. It was especially informal. I could tell that she wanted me to feel welcome. I nodded to the others and curtsied to the Emperor. Then Meili gurgled and I lost the formal look I had plastered on. I lifted her up and nuzzled her cheek. "Good Morning, Meili. My beautiful." The other officials cleared their throat and glanced at the Emperor, looking for an explanation. He smiled warmly at them. "This is the white tiger who has defeated villians for us all over China. I figured that since she is also my daughter's friend, I should extend a hand of thanks." They appeared satisfied at his answer. I sat down next to Xinwen and we cooed over my daughter./p  
p style="max-height: 999999px;"As breakfast droned on in a boring manner, Xinwen and I chatted quietly. "So have you thought about it?" I looked at her with a torn gaze. "I would love too, Xinwen, but I have obligations back at the Jade Palace. I was adopted by Master Tigress and have a family. I've been gone way too long." She looked down and returned my torn gaze. "I figured you would say that. I've missed you so much, that I forgot that you've had a life away from here for so long." I smiled and squeezed her paw under the table. "I can't take Meili with me. It was easy traveling like I did with the youngest ones because I always had my right-hand man and my eldest daughter to help." She nodded and smiled. "I want you, Xinwen, to adopt Meili. Take care of her. Show her love and compassion. Be her mother. Her real mother can't take care of her, so she gave her to me. I won't be able to watch her properly if I'm having to travel all the way back to the Jade Palace." Her eyes grew wide and I gently placed a document I drew up in her hands. It's her birth certificate and an adoption paper. I want you to sign it so you can take care of her. Once it has been signed, no one can take her away except for me." I looked at her with pleading eyes. She glanced down the table at her father who was still deeply in conversation. "I'll adopt her, Mei." I smiled and kissed her cheeks. "Thank you, Xinny." Tears rose up briefly in her eyes at the mention of her old childhood nickname./p  
p style="max-height: 999999px;"I gently got all of Meili's things packed up later that day. Xinwen insisted that I had a painting of me and her together so that Meili always had something of her foster mother. We dressed Meili in a small pink and white dress and I wore the ruby quipo and choker for the painting. We looked so pretty in it that Xinwen had to step out to keep from crying in front of her subject. I wrote a note to Ai that Meili found a home forever. Diary, I hope that my newest baby will be safe. I trust Xinwen, but I haven't seen her in years. Fa was waiting for me at the gates. He said that he still has to fill the other half of his orders before I can be allowed to leave. I nodded silently. He didn't push it. He knew that I let Meili go./p  
/div  
/div  
/div 


	12. August 15th: Happy 10th Birthday, Owlet

August 15th: Happy 10th Birthday, Owlet

Dear Diary,

Today, Owlet turns 10. I'm so proud of her. She is almost an adult. Of course, she has a family, so she has a wihile longer to grow up, but still. I miss her too, my silent friend. Her sweet laughter. How strong she is. She didn't let anything get her down. My daughter was wise for her age and too sweet for her own good. I wonder what she is doing now? I made her a small blanket for her birthday. It is a bright blue with my white fur entwined in it. She'll love it. She always loves anything that has my fur in it. She once told me that it makes her feel as if she's snuggled in my embrace. I want to make sure she can still feel that way.


	13. August 24th: Hello Father

**Listening to "Say Your Name" by Plumb while writing this. The song is really good I suggest you listen to it after you listen to I want you here by the same person.**

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August 24th: Hello, Father

Dear Diary,

Today I met them again. Oh, how I hated them. They followed me all over town! I tried to lose them. They just don't know how to take a freaking hint. It ended up with my brother and i having a long heart to heart talk, diary. It was kinda weird. He didn't even sneer at me. I'll tell you all about it in a minute. I have to go hide in a corner again. They are calling my name around town again...

Okay, I'm back, little friend. They managed to not find me. Ever since they saw me in the throne room, they have wanted to have a little "chat" with me. I don't want to hear anything they want to say. Especially since all of their little chats involve a beating of some kind. So I guess I will tell you what happened today. It started this morning when I was walking down to the bakery to buy some breakfast for Fa. Since we are in town now, he has to put the harsh, "I'll kill you in the blink of an eye" persona. However, he has been a little bit more lenient. He'll elt me go fetch him food as long as I have a guard. So Chow is my guard today. It works out perfectly. No one else knows that we are friends except for his group. So um, yeah.

I was just done delivering breakfast to everyone in the camp, when Mother, Father, and Longwei stalked up to me. I was sitting my Ming Hua's gravesite. I normally do this in the morning. You know, I normally did this with Chun Hua. Now I do it with Ming Hua. I tell her all about my family at the Jade Palace. It seems to work. I don't feel as crushed visiting her nor do I feel as lonely without my family being there. "Scum-breather." I looked up at them. I haven't heard the nickname in years. "Hello." I said politely. I motioned for them to sit. Longwei was the only one to take my offer. "What brings you to the here, where the daughter _you killed_ lies?" I accused. Longwei looked down at his paws, but my eyes were fixed solely on my birth parents. "We didn't kill her, scum. We murdered her. Just like we'll do to you once we get our hands on you." I hissed back at them and they sneered before turning to walk off.

"LONGWEI!" My father bellowed. Longwei jumped to his feet and scampered away a few feet and stopped. I was already on my feet. I remembered baba teaching me how to achieve inner peace. I thought about all of the memories of my past and jsut let them flow. A solitary tear trickled down my cheek and landed on my paw. Going through the Tai chi movements, I swirled it around before letting it drop onto a small flower petal. The petal dipped and the tear dropped into a small rain puddle near my twin's grave. I opened my eyes and sighed. Peace overwhelmed me. All those years of harboring the pain and guilt and anger. Gone. Just like that.

"That was really cool." I looked behind my shoulder to see my brother. He had a look of awe on his maw.

I dipped my head in acknowledgement and gratitude. "Thank you. Shouldn't you be going with them." I flicked my tail contemptuously towards the direction my parents went.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I wanted to talk to you. I keep having these nightmares. Of when I was a baby and you and Ming Hua were protecting me and Father was beating you two. Then the dreams keep getting worse. I keep seeing all sorts of horrible things and

things I've done to you and her. I wnted to apologize. I know that it is long overdue. But I want to make things right. I want to do this right." His voice broke off as if he was trying to not cry. " I HATE THAT WE DROVE YOU AWAY! I HATE THAT BECAUSE OF A STUPID ACTUON I DID YOU WERE KICKED AND LEFT FOR DEAD! I'M SORRY FOR EVERY MEAN THING I'VE SAID AND DONE! I JUST WANT MY SISTER BACK! I'M SORRY! I'M SO FREAKING SORRY! PLEASE BELIEVE ME, PLEASE!" I was frozen in shock at his outburst. He took several shuddering breaths as tears fell down his cheeks. "I-i'm- i'm- I'm so- I'm so sorry!" He hung his head and wept loudly. I sat there, still frozen by shock.

Then as if something broke inside of me, I cried with him. I crawled over to him and wrapped my arms around him. "Shush, shush shush. It's okay. I promise. You'll be okay." I stroked his head and wrapped him tighter. He snuffled into my quipo and buried his head. I purred soothingly and gave a few comforting chuffs. HIs body wracking sobs lasted for a good few hours, but they soon subsied into a sniffle every now and gthen. I patted his back and we both drew back. I used my tail to wipe the few stray tears away from his face. He nuzzled my paw when I touched his cheek.

The sun was just setting behind the trees when we finally stopped crying. "When do you have to be back?" I asked.

He looked at the sun and shrugged. "Anytime I really want as long as I don't do it too often."

I smirked and playfully shoved him. "Lucky."

He playfully shoved me back only to shake his hand. "Wow! You have some hard muscle underthat fur!" I laughed out loud. "I train. I am a Kung Fu Master in my own right. Besides some of this is scar tissue from attacks and battles."

He parted my fur at my throat to find the one from the rhino attack. "Is this one?"

I nodded. "I almost died from that one." He nodded and we sat there. All of a sudden I jumped up into the peach tree and pulled two peaches down from the branches. He looked at me as if I was crazy. "Sorry. I normally do this with my new baba." He nodded and took the proffered peach. "Take a bite, Longwei. It's really good. I love peaches." He nodded and took a big bite. I giggled as juice dribbled down his chin. "What?" he asked.

I giggled uncontrollably as I told him. "You have peach juice down your muzzle." He looked mocked surprised and wiped it off. We continued to eat our peaches in silence.

Before too long, two figures came up the hillside. A low growl situated itself in my breast as the scent reached my nose. Longwei looked in the direction I was looking and he hastily got to his paws. "I better go before they see that I'm talking to you. Ya, know before he blows a casket." I chuckled at the way he described my dad's temper.

However it was too late. "Longwei son, why are you here with this flea-bag?' I snarled under the insult.

Longwei looked mother in the eyes. "Mama, she is my sister. She has always been my sister. I will not stand for you to talk about her that way infront of me." He looked at father. "And you father, you need to treat my sister with respect. She is a Master of Kung Fu and a daughter of a Kung Fu Master as well as a Kung Fu Master's granddaughter."

Both of my birth parents looked sheepishly at their son before walking away. "Son, come home after you're done talking with her." I smiled at my little brother. He grinned back at me. "Thank you, little brother." "Anytime, big sis." I hugged him before walking over to pick you up, dear book. He looked at my book a little weird and I rolled my eyes. "Honestly, Longwei. I went to school with the Emperor Wu's daughter for the longest time. I know how to read and write and do almost the same as she does." He nodded understandingly. "Okay, I get it. I won't judge." I gave him a quick smile. "Thank you, Longwei. Now I have to get back, before my guard gets their panties in a wad." He snorted and let mego. I turned back once to see him bowing to Ming Hua's grave. I allowed another small tear escape from the corner of my eye before walking down the hill the rest of the way.

Fa came and looked at me. "So how'd it go?"

I smiled at him. "I reconciled with my brother after almost 12 years."


	14. Augus 25th: I missed your first Birthday

August 25th: I Missed Your First Birthday

Dear Diary,

Today is Wolfess's first birthday. I can't believe it. My baby has grown. I don't want to see it. I want her to stay as my baby forever. She doesn't need to grow up on me anymore. Oh, little book, I can't wait until I can go home again. Fa was killed so now Guang is in charge so yay for me. I get barely any food or water now. He beats me and now I can't even be alone for a second. I'm just gonna let you think on that for a second. Anyway, Wolfess is getting a pair of shoes from me. She is also getting an outfit as well as a sunbonnet. I want my baby to be well dressed. I want to hold her again, book. To kiss her tiny little cheeks and hold her chubby paws. I want to hear her try to say my name again. I miss her, little friend. I really want to just go home.


	15. September 1st: Happy Birthday in Heaven

September 1st: Happy Birthday in Heaven

Dear Diary,

I know now what it feels like to lose a child. It is the worst thing to wish upon a parent and one that I would never do one someone. I should know, I miss my little kung fu warrior every day. I know that I'll never see that little girl smile up at me ever again, but it still hurts like crap. Every day without Chun Hua is another knife to the heart. Today is the worst. Her birthday. Ai is with me. She had to say goodbye to Meili recently too. It was in order to save her from the treatment I endured growing up. She understands that I am going through a tough moment. I might just go to bed. I really don't feel like writing much, today Diary. It hurts too much to think. She would've been 8.


	16. September 4th: I'm able to flee

**So sorry for not updating in like forever! ToT Life finally caught up to me. But I promise to update at least one chapter today in all my stories whether it be a filler or something!**

* * *

September 4th: I'm Able to Flee

Dear Diary,

Today is the day. I believe that I might be able to escape Guang's clutches and flee. My dear little book, it will be hard though. He has been very suspicious of late. And I don't know exactly why, but he has me under heavy gaurd. I honestly don't care though. By the time I'm through, he won't notice a thing. I have to be really really careful. I have to put you away dear friend. If I want to make this believable then I need to go to bed. Guang laid down laws for me. I have to go to bed when my guards change out for the night. So they are changing out now, that means I have to go to bed to make this work. I'll tell what the plan is tomorrow. I promise.


	17. September 30th: Hiding in the Dark

September 30th: Hiding in the Dark

Dear Diary,

I made it out, my silent friend. It worked! It really worked! I can't believe it. So I promised you that I would tell you what the plan was. Didn't I? Hang on. Okay, I just flipped your pages back to look and yes I did. So I will tell you and led you right up to where I am right now. So when I last wrote to you, I was getting ready to do my plan. Well, the plan was that I was going to knock Guang out and several of his guards with some sleepy medicine.

I offered to cook for them last night as a peace offering. The fools accepted. So I poured a whole bottle of sleepy medicine in the chicken noodle soup I was making. It was straight from Grandpa Ping's recipe for his famous Secret Ingredient Chicken Noodle Soup. Instead, however, of there not being a secret ingredient, there was. Sleepy syrup. A whole bottle full. The wretched fools complimented me on the sweetness of it and how it tasted and I smiled and thanked them. They even took seconds. When the pot was empty, they asked me to make more, so I made more and poured two bottles of sleepy syrup into it. When they asked why it was even sweeter than the last time, I just told them that I made a double batch. All of them gobbled down that pot too. I just smiled sweetly.

When Ai, Chow, and Huian when to bed, I whispered to them what I had done. They nodded and smiled understandingly. 'We understand, Mei. Now go before it wears off." Chow ordered. I nodded and fled. I went back to my tent and sat there waiting for everyone to fall asleep. My guards changed and I laid down. Soon snores filled the air. I peeked outside to see that my guards were fighting off sleep. I snarled under my breath and crept back into the shadows. I waited a while longer before an idea popped into my head. I could sing a lullaby. They might help these idiots fall asleep. I hummed softly and gently hummed a few notes before a song came through my head.

Yáolánqǔ, wǎn'ān  
yǔ fěnhóng sè méiguī wòchuáng  
yǔ bǎihé o'er mànyán  
wǒ bǎobǎo de tiántou  
xiànzài fàngxià nǐ, xiūxí  
yuàn nǐ de shuìmián dédào zhùfú  
xiànzài fàngxià nǐ, xiūxí  
zhù nǐ de shuìmián dédào zhùfú!

Yáolánqǔ, wǎn'ān  
nǐ shì nǐ mǔqīn de kuàilè  
shǎn liàng de tiānshǐ zài pángbiān  
wǒ qīn'ài de  
róuruǎn wēnnuǎn shì nǐ de chuáng  
bì shàng yǎnjīng, xiūxí nǐ de tóu  
róuruǎn wēnnuǎn shì nǐ de chuáng  
bì shàng yǎnjīng, xiūxí nǐ de tóu.

Shuìyǎn, bì shàng yǎnjīng  
mǔqīn de quánlì zài nǐ pángbiān  
wǒ huì bǎohù nǐ miǎn shòu shānghài  
nǐ huì zài wǒ de huái lǐ xǐng lái  
shǒuhù tiānshǐ zài fùjìn  
suǒyǐ shuìjiào, méiyǒu kǒngjù  
shǒuhù tiānshǐ zài fùjìn  
suǒyǐ shuìjiào, méiyǒu kǒngjù.

Yáolánqǔ, shuì dé hěn jǐn  
xū! Wǒ de bǎobèi zhèngzài shuìjiào  
zài tā de chuángdān báisè zuòwéi nǎiyóu  
tā de tóu chōngmǎnle mèngxiǎng  
dàng tiānkōng míngliàng dí límíng shí  
tā huì zài zǎochén xǐng lái  
dāng noontide nuǎnhuo shìjiè  
tā huì zài yángguāng xià xīxì.

I smiled softly as I sang the song. I really loved this lullaby and remembered Xinwen's momma singing it to Ming Hua and I when we stayed the night with her daughter before she died. Anyway, The guards were nodding off at the sound of my voice. I made sure to make it soothing and soft. They couldn't resist that. Not even Mao Xiang and Wolfess on their crankiest days could resist that voice. I waited until I heard them snoring before I crept out of the tent. I made sure I had you, my friend, hidden in my quipo and ran away from the campsite. They didn't sound the alarm after I reached the tree line as my heart pounded in my chest. I sighed with relief before vanishing into the trees.

My dear friend, we have been on the run for several weeks now. I know that they are looking for me. The guards were killed when Guang woke up and found that I was gone. I grieved for them slightly because they were innocent and were just doing their jobs. The fact that Guang fell for my trap was hilarious enough, but I can't help but run. He wants to kill me as it is now. I'm not too afraid, diary. Ok, I'm lying. I'm terrified! I just want to go home and put this living hell hole behind me. I don't want to live in this nightmare anymore.

Diary, I need to go. Guang is coming. I'm hiding in a cave about 80 miles from where I escaped. I hope he doesn't find me, but I have to put you up. So for now, I bid you goodbye. Wish me luck. I'm going to hide in the very back of the cave until he leaves.

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 **I love the lullaby I picked for this chapter. I'm probably going to use it again. Any thoughts? I had to turn my chrome book in for the summer and just got it back like last week so I'm slowly getting back into the hang of things. So please be patient. I promise updates might happen more often. I'm a senior in high school this year so that means I definitely can't slack off.**

 **Here is the English translation of Brahms Lullaby:**

 ** _Lullaby, and good night  
With pink roses bedight  
With lilies o'er spread  
Is my baby's sweet head  
Lay you down now, and rest  
May your slumber be blessed  
Lay you down now, and rest  
May your slumber be blessed!_**

 ** _Lullaby, and good night  
You're your mother's delight  
Shining angels beside  
My darling abide.  
Soft and warm is your bed  
Close your eyes and rest your head  
Soft and warm is your bed  
Close your eyes and rest your head._**

 ** _Sleepyhead, close your eyes  
Mother's right here beside you  
I'll protect you from harm  
You will wake in my arms  
Guardian angels are near  
So sleep on, with no fear  
Guardian angels are near  
So sleep on, with no fear._**

 ** _Lullaby, and sleep tight  
Hush! My darling is sleeping  
On his sheets white as cream  
With his head full of dreams  
When the sky's bright with dawn  
He will wake in the morning  
When noontide warms the world  
He will frolic in the sun._**

 **~Shadowdapple~**


	18. October 2nd: Recaptured

Dear Diary,

I woke up to Guang kicking me in the gut. "Wake up!" I jerked and scrambled to my feet and ducked my head. "What now? It is not even the dawn." He spit in my face and poked a branding iron against my side. I screeched in pain and bit down hard on my tongue to stop the scream short. The harsh tang of blood flooded my mouth from the ragged hole in my mouth. I spat a mouthful of blood and he grinned nastily. I glared at him tearfully as I wiped off some blood from the edges of my mouth. He jerked me up by my chains and slammed me outside to the ground. I grunted in pain and struggled to my feet to not give him another reason to hurt me. Ai and Chow looked on with grieved faces at how I was being treated. I put on a strong face for them. They tried to get Guang to stop, but it doesn't work like that does, it little friend?

We walked to the usual spot and I was pushed to my knees. I tensed waiting and I felt Guang slip my torn tunic off of my body. "This will teach you about being alive." He growled. "Crack!" I flinched as each new mark was laid against my back. When I fell to my face, he grabbed the branding iron and burned my neck and head. I reared back up with sweat and blood pouring down my muzzle. I kept all of my screams locked in, knowing that if I let one out he would enjoy himself even more. When he saw that I was up he wiped my blood off the whip and grabbed his knife. My eyes widened in horror and then in pain as he slowly started to cut chunks of my flesh off of my body. I couldn't keep my howls and screams of pain locked in this time.

It seemed like forever before the cutting suddenly stopped. I slumped to the ground in pain and wept as I struggled to wipe blood out of my eyes. I could hear a battle going on around me, but I was in a daze. When someone lifted me up I barely let out a moan and they shifted me closer. "Hang in there, Mei Xiang." I cracked open my eyes to see Naoko's face swimming hazily inches from mine. "Na-ok-o" I choked out before losing consciousness.


	19. October 11th: Naoko!

I woke up to Guang kicking me in the gut. "Wake up!" I jerked and scrambled to my feet and ducked my head. "What now? It is not even the dawn." He spit in my face and poked a branding iron against my side. I screeched in pain and bit down hard on my tongue to stop the scream short. The harsh tang of blood flooded my mouth from the ragged hole in my mouth. I spat a mouthful of blood and he grinned nastily. I glared at him tearfully as I wiped off some blood from the edges of my mouth. He jerked me up by my chains and slammed me outside to the ground. I grunted in pain and struggled to my feet to not give him another reason to hurt me. Ai and Chow looked on with grieved faces at how I was being treated. I put on a strong face for them. They tried to get Guang to stop, but it doesn't work like that does, it little friend?

We walked to the usual spot and I was pushed to my knees. I tensed waiting and I felt Guang slip my torn tunic off of my body. "This will teach you about being alive." He growled. "Crack!" I flinched as each new mark was laid against my back. When I fell to my face, he grabbed the branding iron and burned my neck and head. I reared back up with sweat and blood pouring down my muzzle. I kept all of my screams locked in, knowing that if I let one out he would enjoy himself even more. When he saw that I was up he wiped my blood off the whip and grabbed his knife. My eyes widened in horror and then in pain as he slowly started to cut chunks of my flesh off of my body. I couldn't keep my howls and screams of pain locked in this time.

It seemed like forever before the cutting suddenly stopped. I slumped to the ground in pain and wept as I struggled to wipe blood out of my eyes. I could hear a battle going on around me, but I was in a daze. When someone lifted me up I barely let out a moan and they shifted me closer. "Hang in there, Mei Xiang." I cracked open my eyes to see Naoko's face swimming hazily inches from mine. "Na-ok-o" I choked out before losing consciousness.


	20. October 15th: A Temporary Home

October 15th: A Temporary Home

Dear Diary

I looked around my new home. Naoko gently wrapped the blanket I was in tighter around my shaking frame. "It will be alright, Mei. I promise that I will take care of you. Here you will be safe." He set me down in a tent and walked out. I drifted in and out of a warm sleep when he walked back in with his grandmother as he whispered her name in my ear. "Mei Xiang, this is my Nainai. She is the leader and healer among my people. She will help take care of you." He pressed his lips softly against my head before walking out. I gazed warily at "Nainai" through fever glazed eyes. She was mixing something in a bowl and was mumbling something. She looked almost like an exact image of Naoko on older and feminine. When she looked at me I saw infinite wisdom and kindness in her eyes. She gently lowered the bowl to my mouth and I gagged the whole foul mixture down. She chuckled and said something else as I was drifting off to sleep. I felt something soft and warm being pulled up over my shoulders as I fell into a deep slumber.


	21. October 21st: Find me please

October 21st: Find Me Please

Dear Diary

I drift in and out of feverish sleep and when I am awake I see Naoko or Nainai with me. I rather have Naoko than his grandmother. She makes me drink some more of that bitter medicine than what Naoko does. He tells me about the camp. All the people in it. I love the little children already. They made me some get well gifts. He has placed hem by my head so I can see them. They are so beautiful. I do make time to write in you whenever Nainai and Naoko aren't with me. It gives me some alone time with you. I miss my family you, know. I want them to find me, but I'm not going to get all mopey and depressed on you little book, I will stay strong. I just hope that Mama and Baba will find me please.


	22. November 14: Falling in love

November 14th: Falling In Love

Dear Diary,

I don't know what is wrong with me little book. My heart flutters every time I think of Naoko. Everytime he looks at me I melt. It is if the world is crushing me when he isn't near me. Am I in love? Is this what love is supposed to feel like? The gentle looks we share? The way Naoko would "accidentally" brush my paw during meal times and always happen to sit next to me during those times. Or how I always managed to find him during any other time? Oh, little book! What is wrong with me! I am falling in love with Naoko! I want to but at the same time I don't want to! Everyone I love ends up getting hurt! Ming Hua did and then Chun Hua! Xinwen was soon to follow after her along with Meili. I don't know what to do!

I sat down and hung my head after finishing my inner reflection before deciding that it was okay to love Naoko.


	23. November 18th: 2 years later and a kiss

2 Years Later: November 19th and A Kiss

Dear Diary,

You won't believe it! I can barely believe it myself! I am engaged! Well not officially. Naoko and I want to do it the right way and that means first we have to find my family. Who knows where they are right now. But first I will tell you what happened.

Naoko and I walked away from all of the chaos of their encampment. "You know, I think I am falling in love with you." I smiled softly as I leaned against him. He glanced down at me before sweeping me up into his arms. "Well everyone here thinks that I am going to marry you. They don't realize that it is entirely up to you though. I know that you want to get back to your family as soon as possible. I wish that I could help you get back to them, but Nainai is the leader here and she wants you to be sure that you are fully better before we help you find them. I also want to help lead them-" I stopped his rambling by pressing my lips against his. "Stupid fur ball." I murmured. "I'm more than happy to stay here as long as I need too. You make me happy. My parents will find me when they can. I know it. I left a trail for them all the way there. Hopefully Mama is still up to some tracking." I could feel my heart flutter in my chest. Naoko's eyes brightened with joy before leaning down and returning my kiss. "Then will you do me the honor of being my bride when the right time comes?" I flung my arms around his neck and screamed yes so loud that the whole camp came running to find out what was wrong. Nainai was shocked into joy when Naoko shouted the news to her.


	24. November 29th: Moments to Pass the Time

November 29th: Moments to Pass the Time 

Dear Diary,

Today was a good day. I will keep you really short tonight. I am tired. But I had a lot of fun today. I played all sorts of games with the children today. They taught me tag and leapfrog. They were so distraught when they realized that I didn't have a proper childhood. So we spent all day and the past few years trying to recreate what my childhood should've been like. It was fun trying to be a kid again even though I'm not. I also spent time hunting and gathering food and making clothes. It turns out when we go to towns to sell our things, I am a crowd drawer with my voice. They love hearing me sing. Naoko says that I don't sing from the heart for them, only for my loved ones. And he is right. Why sing from the heart for money if I don't really need it? Well, anyway, diary, It is late and I should be getting some sleep.


	25. January 25th: Happy Birthday Aunt Viper

January 25th: Happy Birthday Aunt Viper 

Dear Diary,

Today is Guma Viper's birthday. I don't know how old she is, but I wanted to tell you, little book. She was a great aunt even though I didn't get to spend a whole lot of time with her. Maybe she is spending time with Mama and my family and having fun with her birthday there? I hope she is having a great day. Happy birthday, Guma Viper.


	26. February 3rd: Happy 16th birthday Nami!

February 3rd: Happy 16th birthday Nami! 

Dear Diary,

Today I should of been celebrating my daughter's sweet 16. I wish her all the best. I want her to have the best birthday ever. I will write down all of our memories together down as her birthday present for me to her in heart. I love you, Nami! Happy Birthday.

 _A small little girl of about 7 years walked out of the shadows. Her garments hung loosely and her ice blue eyes held hope and something more.  
She walled over and shyly gazed at me. I looked at the fox and the young red panda. I was only 10 myself so I'm not really that much older than them. Gently, I stroked her head and gave her a reassuring smile. " I have a better idea," I commented they looked confusedly up at me. "I'm going to the Valley of Peace. I made a promise to someone and I keep promises. I wish to train under Master Tigress and find myself a new family once I get there. So I'll let you travel with me and teach you, if you want to that is? The panda looked excited. "Could you be my mommy and help me find a new home too?" Fox boy chuckled and answered "You might want to see if she'll teach us survival skills first." He glanced over at me for my answer.  
"I'll help you two the best I can. I've only been on the streets for about two weeks myself now, but I've been used to being alone and having to fend for myself." They both nodded. My check of the Sun's movement caused me to start giving out orders. "Fox boy, I want you to scout somewhere close by for a place to spend the night." He nodded and replied "Right on it, Mei Xiang. My name is Bingwen and that's Naomi." I nodded in acknowledgement. Naomi pulled my sleeve and asked if she could watch for strangers. I smiled to myself and dipped my head in approval. She stood on my flat rock, while I fished. Just as the sun was creeping behind the tress, Bingwen came back. 'I've found a cozy hollow protected by brambles;" he paused to catch his breath. " I made us some beds out of ferns and a fire." I shot Bingwen an approving glance. "Naomi, Lets go to camp." I called. The child hopped down and raced to catch up. Bingwen smirked slightly and I glanced to find Naomi copying my movement. I smiled on the inside at the sweet little girl. Something about her makes my cold stone heart melt just a bit.  
At camp, Bingwen proved himself, a fairly decent cook. The fish was so tender and moist. Naomi and I claimed our sleeping spots while he cooked our dinner though. "So what's your story?" I asked softly. Bingwen looked up and Naomi laid her head in my lap. "Well, We were neighbors, Naomi and I. My folks caught a strange, terrible sickness and died. So I lived with her family. They took me in as if I was one of their own. We were on vacation when the attack happened." I laid my paw on his for a few heartbeats. "No one except me and Naomi survived. Her father's last words to me were, 'Go my son and take care of your sister.' So we ran from the place and hid and tried to journey across China to find someone who would be willing to help us. That's when we started hearing stories of you. A young white tiger by the name of Mei Xiang who fights foes with Kung Fu. And now here we are." Wow. "I'm sorry about your family." I told them what happened with mine and all that fun stuff.  
During dinner, I noticed just how skinny they were. Tenderly, I pushed the rest over. Smiling gratefully, my new friends gobbled the rest down. We all went to the shelter to bed down. Bingwen was fast asleep when I entered. I sat down by Naomi to help her fall asleep. Eventually, I scooped her up into my lap and held her. Rocking slightly, I hummed a melody Master Fang played when I was a young cub. That melody always helped me feel at peace and I wanted to share something with the young girl whom I now call my own. Naomi fell asleep nestled into my neck. I gently laid her down and covered her up with some ferns. I doused out the fire and smothered the smoke. "I'll be your mommy until I find you a home." I promised her gently._

 _It has started snowing. You would have thought that Naomi has never seen snow before. She was so excited and just squealed with happiness while we were playing in it. A panther couple asked me where mine and my friends' parents were. I told them simply that mine disowned me for not being their definition of perfect and their parents are dead. They looked so sad and offered to take us in for the night. I accepted their offer. They had a newborn girl by the name of Dongmei. The couple wanted to help us find an orphanage, but I told a lie saying that I had family in the Valley of Peace further south and she offered to take me and my friends in.  
They seemed happy to know that we had at least someone who wanted us. They gave us some winter clothes and money for our journey. They asked Naomi how long we planned on staying. She shared a long look with me and Bingwen before responding. "We plan on staying for the Winter Festival." They were satisfied with that answer.  
There are times when I am afraid of being caught stealing food or clothing. Some people actually see me eyeing some of their things and when they see little Naomi and how her clothes are almost nothing but rags now, they just seem to cry a little and offer to clothe us with some warm clothing for the cold months. They are very nice. Bingwen just came in my corner and said that people are beginning to get suspicious. Time to get back on the road. I just hope we've packed enough for a little while._

 _Naomi didn't have to buy her gift nor steal it. A kind old goat lady gave it to her. The old lady was feeling lonely since her husband recently passed away. When Naomi told her that she was trying to find her brother a birthday present, the goat gave Naomi one of her husband's good hats. It meant so much to her. The sweet lady told Naomi that her husband would have wanted one of their own children to have it, but they have never replied back to her letters. So she felt that her husband would want her to give it to someone else who would need it more or would find sentimental value in it. Naomi thanked her with tears and gave her a big hug. I'm so proud of my daughter. She has one of the biggest hearts around. Right now Bingwen is wearing the hat and playing with the action figures. I put Naomi on guard duty so I could fix us some lunch. After we finish eating and resting, we are going back on the road. Happy birthday Bingwen, my brother in arms, my friend._

 _Another special day. Today is my daughter's birthday. It is February 3rd and the snow is still falling. The temperature has warmed up some though. I can smell the thaw on the breeze. It won't last long though. Naomi is now an eight year old. She grew one inch. She is a daughter to me. I have warmed up to Bingwen and Naomi so much these past several months. Now back on track.  
She woke up before Bingwen and I did. She has started calling Bingwen, "babba" at times. I know that she still sees him as her brother, but I find it cute that he is becoming her father figure after her own dear dad's death. Anyway, she woke me up first by gently shaking me awake. "Mama! Wake up!" I rolled over sleepily towards her and smiled gently. "Good morning, Nami" She smiled and proceeded to wake up Bingwen.  
I cooked us some fried onions and rice for breakfast. During the meal, I gave her my present. "Happy Birthday, my daughter." I handed her a small wrapped action figure. A while back we passed by an old burnt down panda village. There was an action figure dropped there. I figured its owner must have lost it. Now it is Naomi's. Her eyes sparkled when she saw that it was a Tigress action figure. "Thank you, Mama! It is so beautiful! I will hold it everyday and take extra good care of it." I just smiled and my eyes gleamed with joy at how happy she was.  
Bingwen made her dinner. It was her favorite. It was rice and dumplings. I have never seen that girl's face so happy except the time when I first called her daughter. Right now she is snuggled in bed while I write. Bingwen is standing guard. I'll relieve him of his duty after moon high. I just glanced over to check on Naomi and she is still holding that Tigress doll tightly. There was even a few grains of rice and dumplings on her face. Softly, so I wouldn't awake her, I licked my paw and rubbed her face clean. She smiled in her sleep. I purred softly towards her. I need to put you away for now so I can get some well needed shut eye before my shift._

 _"Mama!" my babies came rushing over. Namoi was cradling a shocked Wolfess. My children gathered around my broken, bleeding shape in Bingwen's arms. He laid me gently on the ground. Mao Xiang and Chun Hua threw themselves on me sobbing. Xiao Dan just looked away, grief clouding his gaze. Naomi and Owlet bent down close to me. "Hand. Me. Wolfess." I gasped out in agony. Owlet stopped Naomi to see the extent of my injuries. "Mama, I can't fix this!" she sobbed. "Don't Die!" Struggling to breathe and to do this one simple action, I lifted one paw and softly wiped a tear from her face. "I'll. Be. Okay." I couldn't even convince myself. Naomi laid Wolfess against my chest, careful to not hurt me any more than I already was. Monkey found me. His jaw dropped 5 feet as he wheeled around and yelled frantically for Crane to fetch Shifu._

 _Master Storming Ox has a rather large sized family. He has three daughters and four sons. He and his wife live in Xianggang. His wife and kids were waiting outside the door for us when we arrived. The youngest kid was a little boy who pointed at Wolfess and said, "Baby?" I nodded and held Wolfess out to him. He touched her cheek and when she licked his hoof, he ran back to his mama squealing happily. I gently nudged Naomi forward so they could meet her face to face at last. The younger kids were amazed at how little she was. Naomi hid her face shyly into my cloak and I patted her head before stepping back letting her stand alone. She looked up and when she saw how happy the others were to see her, she smiled and relaxed. Master Storming Ox motioned his family aside so we could go about the tour. He had a rather large house. Then again, he has too in order to have now 8 children plus him and his wife. I took the notes on the scroll with his name. He passed of course. When it became time for Naomi to put her things away, was when she began to cling to me. We were shown to her room where she relaxed without everyone watching her. I started to put her things away and she followed suit. We placed a picture of all of us on her bedside table. She ran one tiny finger across Chun Hua's face and I drew her close. "Ma, she isn't going to make it. Is she?" Her eyes were already tearing up at the thought. "Yes, Naomi. She isn't going to make it with the way things are looking now." Naomi bowed her head softly and sobbed against my chest. I patted her back with one paw and stroked her head with the other. After a few moments, we broke apart. I wiped her eyes and we walked out of the room. I'll keep an eye on her for a little bit, my silent friend. We still have to go to Master Croc's home and Wohop's._

 _Dear Mama,_

I will never be able to tell you how thankful I am. It would take too long. You became my mommy after my own family was murdered before my eyes and taught me that no matter how hard and cruel our past may be it doesn't make us who we are. "Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn't make you who you are. It is the rest of your story, who you choose to be." I'll will always cherish that memory that helped me gain inner peace. I hope that one day, Mama, you too can achieve inner peace. You became my role model and my rock and just everything.  
I know that Master Storming Ox and his family are going to become my new family, but you were my mommy first and always will be. Thank you for raising me. Thank you for showing me that love can heal what's broken. Thank you for teaching me Kung Fu. Thank you for teaching me how to take care of myself when I am all grown up. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being my mommy when you were also an orphan too. You gave me a better life and now you've given me a new family. I'll miss you and Bingwen. You two were my Mama and Baba. I'll also miss Uncle Cobra and how when I had a problem he would be there to help me through it. I'll even miss Owlet, Chun Hua, and Xiao Dan! We had so much fun getting into trouble. I'll miss Mao Xiang's late night cuddles and Wolfess the most of all. I had so much fun growing up with you guys.  
You may not have my large ears, or fingers, or tiny frame, but you'll always have my heart. I love you so much, Mama. Don't cry for me when I leave please? I couldn't bear to see you cry. I'll already be crying myself when that day comes. I'll come visit you again someday. Oh, and Mama, find someone you love. Like how Po loves Tigress. I want you to find love like that someday. I want you to raise a family with someone you love. I'll be running into your arms the moment I find out that you found your love and all that. I promise you that I'll try to write as often as possible.

Love your blue-eyed baby,

Naomi

Happy birthday, my little blue eyed baby. I hope you are healthy and happy. I love you so so much. Be safe and I will return to you. I promise.


	27. February 27th: I'm found!

February 27th: I'm found!

Dear Diary,

I know that I should be happier that I was found, but I don't know. It is like I am shocked in a state that I can't shake off. It is hard to breathe at times and sleep without nightmares. It hurts so much with all the memories. I just want them to stop. I want only the good ones back.

When my family found me, I was out hunting with George and Thomas. Thea and the other little ones were gathering berries. They saw Crane and ran to get Nainai and Naoko. I ushered them all into a tent and Naoko thrust me in there with them to protect me. I refused to be protected like a child but from the look in his eyes, I let him. Crane landed and asked Nainai about me. She shot Naoko a look and slowly nodded. Naoko looked so horrified but Nainai just shot him one of those looks that said, "You'll see her again. It has to be this way. The stars have foretold this." He looked down and tears began to fall silently down his furry cheeks.

Crane flew off and within a few hours the rest of my family came. Well, only Po, Tigress, Viper, and Crane were there. It made sense, though. The rest were needed to protect the valley. My friends gathered around me and finished the touches on my hanfu. Nainai made it for me for Naoko's and my wedding day. I wore it with pride as I walked out of the tent.

We had carried Amethyst's body with us after she died and we had to move. I made my way over to her grave and murmured a few words of goodbye. By then everyone in my new family made their way to me and said their goodbyes. I hugged my little friends tightly before approaching Naoko and Nainai. Nainai hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek. I looked into her wise eyes for answers and saw only the one she gave Naoko. Turning to him, I saw all the feelings I was feeling. He grabbed me in a passionate kiss and I held him close to my heart before letting him go. He pressed a small locket in my hand. It was the one that Amethyst always wore before her death. I hung the chain around my neck before casting one final tearful glance around the friends and people I began to call home.

I sat in the caravan that Baba packed. It was silent. Tigress kept staring at me as if she was starving. Viper and Crane looked back and forth before sighing silently. I looked outside to where Baba was pulling the caravan. I still wore the hanfu that Nainai made for me. I softly fingered the beads that Lily, Rose, Thea, Thomas, and George put on there. Viper finally broke the silence.

"It is so good to see you, Mei Xiang!" I smiled weakly towards her. "It is nice to see you all too." She frowned at my quieter voice. Crane gently touched my shoulder. "Is there something you would like to tell us about what happened?" Tigress's eyes slowly narrowed and steeled. Viper shot her a stern look. I looked at him and nodded. "I witnessed many things and some things can never be erased from my mind. It hurts to think about all of the things that have happened but they keep coming. I can't keep the memories from stopping. Shushu Crane, can we talk about things other than what happened? I don't want to remember. Not everything. Some things were nice that happened, but I want to move on. Please understand." I broke off with tears welling in my eyes as I gave everyone a tearful glance. Guma Viper softly wiped a stray tear from my cheek. Of course sweetie. We understand perfectly. No one will try to push you to do anything you don't want to. Just talk when you are ready." Tigress glanced out the window with a grief stricken look on her maw and I slowly turned my eyes to look at the rest of my family.

Baba's back was to me, but I could see that he was crying silently by the way his shoulders were moving. Shushu Crane was looking out the window on high alert for bandits and other bad guys but his feathers would gently brush me and Tigress in comfort. I shot a quick glance at Guma Viper. She was going from stern looks at Mama, concerned and relieved looks at me, sympathetic looks to Baba, watching for robbers, to grateful looks at Shushu Crane. I inwardly sighed and turned my head to look outside the little window. The haunting memories of the past few years soon came back to visit me.


	28. March 29th: Happy Birthday Uncle Crane!

March 29th: Happy Birthday Uncle Crane!

Dear Diary,

Today is Shushu Crane's birthday. This time I would like to do something different. I am going to write him a letter in my diary. I know that everyone wants me to talk, but it is so hard to talk about my feelings. About what happened to me. So maybe I can explain some of it in my letter to Shushu Crane. We are still in the caravan. Everyone still seems relieved that I write in this but they don't like the way I keep it secretive and almost like I'm afraid someone is going to take it. So I'm going to start my letter.

Dear Shushu Crane,

You wanted me to tell you about what happened but I can't put things into words. Maybe writing will help. I was unable to take the calligraphy set you and Guma Viper gave me. So I made myself a makeshift one and did my calligraphy on that. I drew pasted a drawing of one of them here for you. This was before I was found. It's about Spring. I like Spring. It is about new things. I was telling Naoko about all the things I like about spring. I drew this for him but also for you. You would've liked him. He was very kind. He rescued me and healed me physically and I love him.

I'm glad that you all found me. I've truly missed you. I spent every day thinking about you and every night crying. It is just hard to be strong all the time. I was treated very well at my encampment but I will not tell you the whole story of what happened to me. It is too hard to relive those moments as it is. Maybe one day I will let you read my diary and allow you to find out. But for now this is all I can do without breaking. Please understand that I am trying to heal and one day I will no longer feel the need to look over my shoulder or flinch when someone touches me. It just happens. But this is for your birthday. I hope it can help you understand. I love you.

Your niece,

Mei Xiang


	29. April 8th: Happy Birthday Uncle Mantis

April 8th: Happy Birthday Uncle Mantis

Dear Diary,

Today is Shushu Mantis's birthday. It is raining really hard right now. I remember when it rained while I was with Naoko. We would all be huddled in our tents. Naoko and I would be snuggled together with Nainai running in and out to make sure everyone was alright. I would be writing in you and he would be peering over my shoulder to see what I was writing. I miss those days. Now I have everyone in the caravan trying to see what I am writing. I don't feel the warmth when they do it. It is as if a stranger is staring at me. Naoko made me feel safe when he did it. I even taught him to read and write when we were together.

I wish that Shushu Mantis was here with me. He would understand that I want my privacy. Having four pairs of eyes staring at you is uncomfortable and I know that he would be able to fix that. I really miss him. Hopefully he won't be asking too many questions when I get back. He isn't like that but who knows. Two years is a long time and people change. I know I did.


	30. May 30th: Happy Birthday Uncle Monkey

May 30th: Happy Birthday Uncle Monkey

Dear Diary,

Today is a good day. My mind is not plagued by haunting memories of Amethyst's death or the torture sessions I had to go through. Today also put a smile on my face because it is my Shushu Monkey's birthday. He always managed to make me smile. When mama saw the smile on my face it was as if a weight lifted off of her. If only she knew. "You are in a happy mood today. Any special reason?" I looked at Guma Viper. My smile broadened slightly. "Today is Shushu Monkey's birthday!" She nodded. "Yes it is. That is why we are going to have his favorite meal today. Your father's bean buns smothered with honey. Does that sound good to you?" I nodded with some enthusiasm. She took it as full on and I let her believe it. Happy Birthday my goofball uncle!


	31. November 18th: I'm finally back

**Slight sexual abuse mentioning in the fourth paragraph If you are not 18 or above skip that paragraph and move on.**

* * *

November 18th: I'm finally back

Dear Diary,

It has officially been three years since I was the caravan arrived at the Valley of Peace, everyone poured out of their homes and flooded the alleyways. They tried to peer in to see me. Crane could see that I was uncomfortable with so much attention and he fanned out his wings to block me. I gave him a grateful glance and continued to stare straight ahead toward the Thousand Steps. We unloaded the Caravan there. Mantis and Monkey were already waiting for us. Tigress started to look around and Monkey gave her a calming look. "They are up at the palace with Shifu. He is preparing them for their big sister." She nodded and cast me a worried look. I just hefted up a big box and started to struggle up the stairs. That was when everyone saw the stab wounds on my legs and arms as well as the massive burn marks on my neck and tail. I shifted my eyes down guiltily as Po rushed over to grab the box. I dropped my arms limply. "It'll be okay, Mei Xiang. You don't have to feel like you've done anything wrong." Tears welled up in my eyes and I nodded. The walk up the stairs were done in silence. I believe my dear friend everyone just saw a glimpse of what I had to endure.

Shifu was at the doors with Mr. Ping and Li Shan. He only cracked it enough to growl something quietly inside. Turning back he appraised me up and down. I kept my eyes fixed to the floor. "Welcome home, Mei Xiang." I nodded and bowed formally. "It is good to be back, Master Shifu." I felt him shift a sharp glance at the others who shook their heads and he lead us inside. Behind me, Mr. Ping and Li Shan was whispering with Po. "What happened to her, Po?" "She was tortured and doesn't want to talk about it. It is too much on her mental health. She barely spoke the whole way home." Before long I was bombarded to the ground with purrs of delight. "You must be our sister!" "I'm Minzhe and this is Wren!" "I'm Flicka!" "And I'm Zinnia!" I stiffened in pain and shock. Four identical pairs of eyes bore into mine. "Children!" At Tigress's voice, they scrambled off of me. "I know you are all excited to finally see your big sister after all these years, but she needs to talk with Wai gong and Shushu Mantis is going to take a look at her. She doesn't need you scaring her like that." They nodded and melted back into the shadows. I noticed how Minzhe would grab Wren beofre she would start to panic.

Viper gently pulled me along and into my room Po sat my small bag down and Mantis hopped in. Shifu slipped in behind him and closed the door. "Okay, Mei Xiang. I need to give you a check up. So you have to remove your tunic to give me a better idea of wounds." I shook my head and backed away. Fear sparkled in my eyes. Shifu, Mantis, and Viper shared a look. "Mei Xiang, sweetie, no one is going to hurt you. How about we do that last and we give you a regular check up first?" I stared into Viper's eyes and slowly nodded. She drew me back towards Mantis. I sat down and he hopped up next to me. He probed me all over and found that I had no fever and wasn't sick as in physically. I was mentally. He told Shifu that my mental state is not in the best place and I should be treated delicately. This was only after a round of questions where I would flinch and when he came too close I pucnehd him into Shifu and ran out of the room. It took three hours to find me. I was on the roof having an episode. It was when Guang was flaying me and I would run only for him to catch me and whip me. They had to drag me down. Once I was calm enough to go back inside, Viper gently coaxed me to take off my hanfu. As I did you could hear the gasps in the room. I heard Shifu clench his staff.

I knew the scars and wounds on my body were bad, but surely not enough for that reaction. I hastily tried to put my hanfu back on but Shifu stopped me. "Mei Xiang, what happened." I lowered my eyes and started to shake. "M-master, please." He touched my shoulder and I screamed in fear and jerked away. Viper pinned me against the wall so I wouldn't fight back. "Don't hurt me please." I whimpered terrified. Shifu grabbed my paws and held them down. I kept my eyes tightly shut and waited for the blow. "Look at me." I tried to tune him out. "Mei Xiang, You need to look at me." i tembling opened my eyes and looked at him. "Did you really think I was going to hit you? What happened to you out there?" I swallowed and trembled even more. The tremors became so violent that it appeared I was having a seizure. "I-I was tortured daily. Most days I was starved and left outside chained to a wall in all sorts of weather. I was beat and almost raped on more than one account. I was sexuallly harrassed. After I managed to escape I was recaptured by the same people, but led by a different leader. He abused me more. I was flayed and cut by him. He whipped me and burned me and stoned me. I beaten by him. I couldn't even fight back." I trailed off and shut down and fell to the floor and curled up in a ball. Shifu let go of me and walked out. Viper hugged me along with Mantis before following their Master.

I stayed like that for the rest of the day. I could hear my family whispering outside in hushed tones. They were worried about me. Po came in during mealtimes and brought me food. I only ate about half of it which he wasn't disappointed about. I guess he was just happy that my ordeal didn't stop me from eating today. Diary, I'm scared. I don't want to go to sleep. What will happen to me in my sleep? When I was sure everyone was asleep, I walked out of the room and crept down the hallway to the room that had the quadruplets in it. They were talking still. Half-asleep talking though. "Do you like our big sister?" "Flicka!" "What? I was just asking." "Zinnia, Flicka does have a point. We know hardly anything about her. All we know is what Ma told us and here she is and she isn't even what Ma and Baba told us about her." "Minzhe, Flicka, Zinnia, none of you are being fair. She is hurting. Couldn't you tell. I could smell blood and fear on her. She was not in a good place while she was gone. So we have to be nice to her and help her realize that she is safe and no one will hurt her here." "Whose side are you on, Wren?" "I'm on the side that says, quit judging people before you actually get to know them and go to sleep!" Before long a chorus of goodnights and then snores filled the air. I kinda missed the banter that went on when I lived here among my children before I was kidnapped. Soothed by the snores, I went back to the room and curled up under the bed and went to sleep.


	32. November 20th: Can't Breathe

Novemer 20th: Can't Breathe

Dear Diary,

Everything hurts, little friend. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally, I am a wreck. I keep the window shutters locked tight until nightfall and I rarely will venture out of my room. Memories of my time away from here won't leave. I am trapped. Diary, I thought that I was saved. I can't breathe, it hurts and I'm scared that one false move will push me off the deep end. Shushu Mantis visits me and he tries to get me to talk. But how can I? Our sessions normally end with me crying in a heap under the bed, saying, "Don't hurt me, please? I promise I won't do it again!" I know that he's taking notes of what I'm saying so he can let everyone else know. I think that it may be time to let them read you. I'm not sure, yet. Maybe sleep will help.


	33. November 22: Still Seeing Naoko

November 22: still seeing Naoko

Dear Diary,

I slowly grew accustomed to not being beat or chained or having others harm me anymore. I still flinch when people don't announce who they are when they walk into a room or when I'm being touched. Wren, Flicka, Zinnia, and Minzhe tried to spend time with me everyday, but Ma and Baba shooed them away. So they wrote me a note one night saying that they'll meet up in my room. I allowed them too. I actually enjoy their company. They stay for an hour then go to bed.

Naoko managed to sneak past Shifu and visit me too. "How did you find me?" He smiled and gently rubbed my paw. "It wasn't easy but I remembered where we first met and I went there and walked into the village. I asked some people where Chun Hua was buried and they pointed up here. So I came up here and found you in a window. So here I am." I leaned in and kissed him. "I'm so glad you came. But you shouldn't be seen here. You could get in trouble." He chuckled and we both laid back against my bed. I curled against his side and halfway laid on his chest. "I am trouble incarnate." I smiled and purred sleepily. "I've missed you so much, Naoko." "As I, you." We stayed like that for the rest of the night.


	34. December 17th: Watching my family

December 17th: Watching my family

Dear Diary,

Today it began to snow. I was sitting in my room as usual and instead of hiding with the windows closed, I had them open. Zinnia, Flicka, Minzhe, and Wren were in the courtyard playing. More like the other three were playing, Wren was sitting being patient until they could go inside. I've noticed that with her. She never plays really with everyone even though they try to include her. I shook my head sadly and Zinnia looked up spotting me. She smiled and pointed, drawing everyone else's attention. "Look it's Mei Xiang!" She said happily. She looked back up at me, still smiling. "Do you wanna come play?" I shook my head, eyes going wide as images of what happened to Amethyst flashed before me.

Mama and Baba walked forward and stood next to her. "Zinnia, don't disturb, your sister," Mama said.

Zinnia gave her a confused look. "I just wanted to see if she wanted to come play? It must be terribly lonely being by yourself all the time."

Baba chuckled softly. "Yes, it can be lonely, but your sister has had a very rough time and still isn't fully better. I don't think she's ready to play." Zinnia frowned but nodded before going back to playing with her brother and sister. Baba looked back up at me and raised his paws in a soothing gesture. He noticed the near panic attack I had. Mama looked at me and him, her eyes dimming. Po wrapped an arm around her and lead her away.

I sighed to myself and inched towards the door. Zeng was walking by and saw me. "Mei Xiang!" He squawked startled. "Is there anything you need?" I just shook my head and motioned for him to carry on. He gave me a worried and look and appeared torn between getting Shifu or doing what I asked him to do. The latter won out and he moved on. I waited until he disappeared before walking to the courtyard and I hid behind a pillar near Wren.

"Why aren't you playing?" I asked her. She twitched one ear back before beginning to turn in my direction. "Don't look at me!" I hissed. "I don't want any attention drawn towards me please!" I asked her desperately. The younger tiger nodded her head and faced forward again.

"I don't like playing much because I can't see. I don't know how to do things really by myself. I've always had someone there with me, helping me." She mewed. I looked at the back of her head incredulously.

"How are you going to be on your own if you have to have your paw held the whole time?" I said.

"I don't know!" She spat softly. "I never asked to be like this!" I sighed and sank to the ground.

"You know I could probably teach you to be independent." I mused half to myself.

Her voice was hopeful, "Really?"

I glanced her way. "Sure. Why not?" I rose to my paws. "I'm going back up to my room now. Don't tell anyone that I spoke to you. Not yet, anyway." Wren nodded.

I turned and walked away. Her voiced echoed behind me. "Thank you."

I halfway smiled. "Anything for a sister."


	35. December 24th: Everyone?

December 24th: Everyone?

Dear Diary,

Little friend, I had some visitors. I was underneath my bed when I heard a knock at my door. Giving a murmur to allow them to open, I saw that it was Naomi and Bingwen. I pushed myself closer to the back wall. "Mama?" I heard Naomi call. Bingwen sat on the ground and motioned for Naomi to do the same. I watched as they sat down and peered under the bed. I shook slightly and whimpered. Bingwen reached under the bed and grabbed my paw. "Mei Xiang, please come out. Everyone is here to see you." I looked at our entwined paws and slowly scooted out of the bed.

"Ev-every-everyone?" I whispered poking my head out of the bed to peer suspiciously at them. "You're telling me the truth?"

Naomi looked at the both of us with tear-filled eyes and nodded. "Yes, Ma. No tricks. So come on out and see everyone." I looked at them both for a long minute before deciding that it was safe to do so. Bingwen wrapped a blanket around me and Naomi went ahead to warn everyone that I'm not quite ready for people to touch and crowd me. When we entered the room, I ducked my head and kept my eyes on the floor. Bingwen gave a comforting noise and led me over to a corner. I heard everyone murmuring and I glanced up and saw each child that I held dear to my heart. Po walked over and crouched in front of me. "Mei Xiang?" I looked up at him and swiftly averted my eyes.

"Y-yes?" I trembled. He touched my face with one paw and I clenched my jaw to keep from flinching.

"Are you okay with everyone being here?" I nodded. He sighed and stood and looked over at Viper and Shifu. They glanced at him and shrugged before returning to their conversations. I returned my cursory glances at everyone. Before long, I felt chubby arms wrap around me. My body stiffened on instinct and I heard a soft "Ma.

Tigress rushed over at the sign of my distress and picked up the child. "No, no Wolfess."

I raised my eyes and caught a sight of her. She has grown and I've missed so much. I curled in on myself and buried my head in my paws. "I've missed so much!" I wailed quietly to no one.

Guma Viper slithered next to me and softly called my attention. "Mei Xiang? Breathe remember?" I nodded and breathed to the exercises that Shushu Mantis had created for me. Feeling myself calm down, I took another big gulp of air. Unraveling from the fetal position, I rose to my paws and leaned against the wall with my arms clutching me.

Waipo Shifu noticed me and walked over. "Mei Xiang." I looked down at him and nodded acknowledgment. "Are you wanting to say anything? Is there something you need?" I opened and closed my mouth a couple of times before getting the courage to speak.

"I want everyone to read my diary. It is time to know what I went through." I rasped. Shifu nodded and grabbed my paw to lead me to the front of the room. I shivered and felt like I was going to faint.

"I need everyone's attention," Shifu said. He waited a few moments as people were still talking. "Shut up!" Everyone fell silent and looked at us. "Mei Xiang wants us to read her diary and hear her words and thoughts. She'll be retiring to her room during this process so that she won't have a relapse."

Guma Viper gently lead me away and I handed her my diary. "Guma, I want you to read it," I whispered as I crawled back underneath my bed. She nodded and wordlessly closed the door. A few minutes later I could hear her voice reading each word I put down in you, dear friend.

I just hope that they can now finally understand.


	36. January 6th: Learning to see

January 6th: learning to see without eyes

Dear Diary,

Today is the day that I teach Wren how to see without being dependent on others. I carved her a cane out of hollow wood that would make a sound when she tapped it along the ground. I was pretty proud of my work. We spent all day working with that thing. She soon grew to not really need to touch me to know where I was at. She used her ears to hear my voice and my scent to distinguish my location.

I had everyone place a game of hide and seek with her so she could practice her smell. Po hid in the kitchen while Lunch was cooking. Shifu was in the Dragon Grotto. Flicka, Minzhe, and Zinnia were in the courtyard. Monkey and Mantis were at the Peach tree. Viper was in her room. Crane was in the scroll room. Tigress was in the training hall. Zeng hid in the dungeons.

Then we practiced her hearing after lunch. I had everyone scream in the hall of heros and she had to focus on my voice . I had her by the doors and I was by the pool. She had to walk over to me from the doors to the pool. It took her a total of 10 tries to pinpoint my voice at a normal talking voice in the din. We were so proud of her. Po made a dessert to celebrate. We waited a little bit for her to rest before I had her practice her sense of touch. I would have Po make a really nasty feeling pudding and then I would hide all sorts of objects in it. She loved playing in the pudding. Then I had her run her paws all over the palace. We made markers in Chinese characters to label where things were at for her. She loved doing that too. It didn't take her long to know which characters were which object or room. We ended the day resting after teaching her to see without using her eyes. I do believe, dear book, that she can be independent on her own now. She might need some help of course, but she can do a lot on her own.


	37. February 21st: NAOKO! NOO!

February 21st: NAOKO! NOO!

Dear Diary,

I have just lost the love of my life.

Po and I were talking in the hallway after Shifu came back carrying Mama. "Do you think she'll be alright?" He looked at me and chuckled. "It'll take more than blood loss and a wound to the head to take your mother out, nu'er." He ruffled my head and I giggled before flattening it. We talked some more before hearing Tigress move in bed. I gently opened the door so as to not frighten her. We both walked in and smiled. "Ma! You're awake at last!" I ran over and threw myself into Tigress's arms. Po came over and kissed her head. "Glad to see you doing better, Ti. You gave everyone a serious fright. Now you have some answers about who else was lying in that clearing when Shifu found you." She nodded solemnly and I backed up to stand next to Po to act as a professional. I noticed that she took a deep breathe and she looked at me with pity and sympathy before speaking. It threw me off guard for what she had to say. "You two know that I was sent out on a rescue mission to retrieve a young boy who was attacked in the forest. Well, I went there and I tried to stop the blood flow from the wound until I could get him to the village. I was attacked by a bandit. I fought him off but he hit me on the head with a frying pan. He hit me hard enough to cause me to bleed and to pass out. The boy and I were talking. He was saying that he knew me. I just thought that he was delirious from the pain. But after the fight, he told me who he was. Po, he was the person who saved our little girl."

I looked from Mama to Po. My eyes bright with pain and disbelief. I couldn't believe it. It can't be true. Not him. I slowly backed up and pressed my back against the wooden frame of the door for support. My heart hammered against my chest and my legs already felt weak.

I watched my mom swallow and reach out for me before dropping her paws. "Mei Xiang, Naoko wanted me to tell you this before he died. He said that he is sorry for leaving you and that he will always be with you. He loves you very much. " I could feel my eyes well up with tears and my heart crack more as I responded. "I loved him too. We were planning on telling everyone that we were engaged today. He is my soul mate." I started to shake and I closed my eyes to keep back the tears. I felt my mom's paw touch me and I just shattered into pieces. I threw my head back in a shrill bone-chilling wail of grief and collapsed on the floor crying.

"I-loved-him-so-much." I managed to choke out in another wail of pain. Po left the room to call Crane over. He was going to have Crane go fetch the body. Naoko is family now, so we might as well bury him close by. Shifu woke up just then. Crane walked in with Po. He placed a wing over my body in comfort as he stood ready to be told where the body was. I dimly heard the conversation going on above me. "Where is the body of the boy? He is Mei Xiang's fiancee basically. They were soul mates. Po and I feel that it is only right to bury him close by in honor since he also was the one who saved her from her kidnappers." Shifu looked thoughtful for a moment before replying. "I covered it with my cloak and marked it with a flag at the clearing. " Crane looked from one to the other until he just said that he was going to go find the flag.

Naoko can't be dead. He just can't be. What am I going to do if he is dead. I need him. It seemed like time had frozen. My younger siblings tried to comfort me, but Mama shooed them away. I curled up on the floor in my room and rocked back and forth remembering all the moments we had shared together before now.

 _I stepped into the woods and continued on my walk when I bumped into another person. I was so lost in thought, that I didn't see him. "I am so so sorry, miss." His tenor voice washed over me. I looked up to spotted bloodish red-brown fur and warm golden amber eyes. "I'm Naoko. I didn't see you there. Here let me help you." I smiled gratefully as he helped me up.  
"Uh.. um.. H-hi."  
"Hey, are you okay?" He asks for a brief second I forgot my despair but as soon as that question left his lips my world crashed around me again. "I guess." I answered. I gave him the biggest smile I could offer which was basically a grimace. "What's wrong? I can tell you are upset over something."  
"I am, I lost my dearest Chun Hua, my darling daughter, to the dreaded Blood Cough."  
His eyes grew sad and the warm amber darkened. He leaned in and hugged me. I stiffened before realizing the niceness of the touch. "I know what you must be feeling in a sense. I lost my brother and sister to Blood Cough. Except, we didn't call it that. In my group, it is called Spotted Fever." I nodded sadly in sympathy. "I'm sorry for your loss." He nodded and we walked a ways to a small pond. I found myself beginning to open up to this gentle cat. He was kind and he didn't pity me over Chun Hua's death. We sat for awhile and I asked him the one question that I have had burning on the inside for a long time now. "You understand?" He looked up and nodded. "I guess I do understand. I know what it is like to drown in despair and wonder if you are ever going to find a way out or if anyone is there. I don't want you to have to go through the same suffering I did." I smiled softly, the grimace fading. 'How long did it take for the pain to fade?" He shook his head and grabbed my paw, squeezing it lightly. I didn't pull away from the comforting touch. "My big brother and little sister died 5 years ago when I was about 10 years old. The pain was crippling at first, but after a couple of years the pain seemed to be easier to bear. " I curled up against his side. He was tense against my touch but soon relaxed into me. "I don't know if this pain will ever fade. My other children are being adopted and will soon be leaving. She died too soon. I miss her so much." My voice broke off and I started to cry softly. Naoko turned me into his chest and held me as my tears dampened his shirt.  
I stiffened as he petted my head fur and then relaxed to the feeling of him caressing me. Sobs wracked my body, they just couldn't seem to stop coming. When I finally cried so much I could not cry anymore I sniffled and looked at him. "Thank you, you have no idea how much I just needed someone to hold me." He smiled at me and leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Your welcome." My heart soared as I drowned in his amber eyes. He pulled me close for another hug and said, "I must go, now, but I hope to see you again beautiful girl. Remember always dry those tears for you are too pretty to cry." He turned and walked away my heart skipped a beat, he thought I was beautiful. I turned to watch him walk away. At the edge of our peaceful pond, stood a group of gypsies. A band of different cats waving for my knight in shining armor. "Naoko, come on. " He took off at a sprint towards them. I watched as he drew smaller and smaller. Before he turned and followed them into the deepening twilight lit forest, he turned and waved at me. I waved back. My heart feels lighter now, little book. Naoko helped me while others couldn't. I smiled to myself before realizing that back at home, everyone must be getting frantic thinking I killed myself out of grief. I really need to hurry home. Diary, you can't tell anyone this, but I think, i have fallen in love. I turned away from where Naoko vanished and walked back to my home._

 _It seemed like forever before the cutting suddenly stopped. I slumped to the ground in pain and wept as I struggled to wipe blood out of my eyes. I could hear a battle going on around me, but I was in a daze. When someone lifted me up I barely let out a moan and they shifted me closer. "Hang in there, Mei Xiang." I cracked open my eyes to see Naoko's face swimming hazily inches from mine. "Na-ok-o" I choked out before losing consciousness._

 _I looked around my new home. Naoko gently wrapped the blanket I was in tighter around my shaking frame. "It will be alright, Mei. I promise that I will take care of you. Here you will be safe." He set me down in a tent and walked out. I drifted in and out of a warm sleep when he walked back in with his grandmother as he whispered her name in my ear. "Mei Xiang, this is my Nainai. She is the leader and healer among my people. She will help take care of you." He pressed his lips softly against my head before walking out. I gazed warily at "Nainai" through fever glazed eyes. She was mixing something in a bowl and was mumbling something. She looked almost like an exact image of Naoko only older and feminine. When she looked at me I saw infinite wisdom and kindness in her eyes. She gently lowered the bowl to my mouth and I gagged the whole foul mixture down. She chuckled and said something else as I was drifting off to sleep. I felt something soft and warm being pulled up over my shoulders as I fell into a deep slumber._

 _I drift in and out of feverish sleep and when I am awake I see Naoko or Nainai with me. I rather have Naoko than his grandmother. She makes me drink some more of that bitter medicine than what Naoko does. He tells me about the camp. All the people in it. I love the little children already. They made me some get well gifts. He has placed them by my head so I can see them. They are so beautiful._

 _I don't know what is wrong with me little book. My heart flutters every time I think of Naoko. Everytime he looks at me I melt. It is if the world is crushing me when he isn't near me. Am I in love? Is this what love is supposed to feel like? The gentle looks we share? The way Naoko would "accidentally" brush my paw during meal times and always happen to sit next to me during those times. Or how I always managed to find him during any other time? Oh, little book! What is wrong with me! I am falling in love with Naoko! I want to but at the same time I don't want to! Everyone I love ends up getting hurt! Ming Hua did and then Chun Hua! Xinwen was soon to follow after her along with Meili. I don't know what to do!_

 _I sat down and hung my head after finishing my inner reflection before deciding that it was okay to love Naoko._

 _Naoko and I walked away from all of the chaos of their encampment. "You know, I think I am falling in love with you." I smiled softly as I leaned against him. He glanced down at me before sweeping me up into his arms. "Well everyone here thinks that I am going to marry you. They don't realize that it is entirely up to you though. I know that you want to get back to your family as soon as possible. I wish that I could help you get back to them, but Nainai is the leader here and she wants you to be sure that you are fully better before we help you find them. I also want to help lead them-" I stopped his rambling by pressing my lips against his. "Stupid fur ball." I murmured. "I'm more than happy to stay here as long as I need too. You make me happy. My parents will find me when they can. I know it. I left a trail for them all the way there. Hopefully Mama is still up to some tracking." I could feel my heart flutter in my chest. Naoko's eyes brightened with joy before leaning down and returning my kiss. "Then will you do me the honor of being my bride when the right time comes?" I flung my arms around his neck and screamed yes so loud that the whole camp came running to find out what was wrong. Nainai was shocked into joy when Naoko shouted the news to her._

 _When my family found me, I was out hunting with George and Thomas. Thea and the other little ones were gathering berries. They saw Crane and ran to get Nainai and Naoko. I ushered them all into a tent and Naoko thrust me in there with them to protect me. I refused to be protected like a child but from the look in his eyes, I let him. Crane landed and asked Nainai about me. She shot Naoko a look and slowly nodded. Naoko looked so horrified but Nainai just shot him one of those looks that said, "You'll see her again. It has to be this way. The stars have foretold this." He looked down and tears began to fall silently down his furry cheeks._

 _Crane flew off and within a few hours the rest of my family came. Well, only Po, Tigress, Viper, and Crane were there. It made sense, though. The rest were needed to protect the valley. My friends gathered around me and finished the touches on my hanfu. Nainai made it for me for Naoko's and my wedding day. I wore it with pride as I walked out of the tent._

 _We had carried Amethyst's body with us after she died and we had to move. I made my way over to her grave and murmured a few words of goodbye. By then everyone in my new family made their way to me and said their goodbyes. I hugged my little friends tightly before approaching Naoko and Nainai. Nainai hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek. I looked into her wise eyes for answers and saw only the one she gave Naoko. Turning to him, I saw all the feelings I was feeling. He grabbed me in a passionate kiss and I held him close to my heart before letting him go. He pressed a small locket in my hand. It was the one that Amethyst always wore before her death. I hung the chain around my neck before casting one final tearful glance around the friends and people I began to call home._

 _Naoko managed to sneak past Shifu and visit me too. "How did you find me?" He smiled and gently rubbed my paw. "It wasn't easy but I remembered where we first met and I went there and walked into the village. I asked some people where Chun Hua was buried and they pointed up here. So I came up here and found you in a window. So here I am." I leaned in and kissed him. "I'm so glad you came. But you shouldn't be seen here. You could get in trouble." He chuckled and we both laid back against my bed. I curled against his side and halfway laid on his chest. "I am trouble incarnate." I smiled and purred sleepily. "I've missed you so much, Naoko." "As I, you." We stayed like that for the rest of the night._

Soon Crane was back with him. I prayed that it was all a dream and he was still alive. I stared frozen in shock as Crane laid his bloody body on the palace floor. Then I broke again. It was like another piece of me was shattered again. Just like when Chun Hua died. Only different. I screamed and wailed his name and flung myself down next to him. "Naoko, I love you, you stupid fur ball!" I whispered over and over and over. I don't know when I fell asleep, but at some point I did, still murmuring "I love you," to my dead love.


	38. May 21st: I'm, What?

**I'm sorry everyone. I'm still very much interested in Kung Fu Panda and this Fanfic. I have just had a lot on my mind due to senior year, graduation, and college. I still have a lot to do, but I promise that this will be done. I didn't have a lot of inspiration for a while, however I am now back.**

* * *

May 21st: I'm, What?

Dear Diary,

Something is wrong with me. I have trouble sleeping at night. Well more than I normally do. I have also been eating a lot more as well. I'm still plauged with nightmares from Naoko's death. He was my life line after what I had been through. Now I don't know how I can move on. Mama and Baba are worried for me again. They try to hide it, but the quick glances tell me a different story. I can't say much either. I tell everyone that I'm fine when I'm really not. My brother and sisters ask me constantly how I'm feeling these days and I hate having to lie to them, but I don't want them to spend their lives worrying about me.

Diary, I had a couple of visitors today. My daughters, Naomi and Owlet. They came by to spend the day with me after Viper sent them a scroll saying that I have been acting strangely again. I love that they care for me so much, but it is my duty to care for them. Not the other way around. I invited them into the kitchen where we could talk. Owlet stood beside me as I began making tea for the three of us. "How are you, Mama?" She asked. She looked at me imploringly. I mumbled a fine fine as I reached for the jasmine tea leaves Po had stashed in the cupboard. My abdomen pressed against the counter uncomfortably and I winced hoping Owlet wouldn't notice.

Naomi sat in a chair and fiddled with a bun. "Mama, there is something you aren't telling us?" She said it like a question but she meant it as a statement. I set the tea leaves to boil before turning to look at my girls. Owlet was sitting on the table while Naomi had her place on a chair. Both were eyeing me.

I leaned against the counter and gave them a stern look. "How so?"

Owlet leaned forward and perched her head on her wings. "Mama, you've been acting strangely."

Naomi agreed with a dip of her head. "Yes, ever since Naoko died."

I looked between the two of them. "I loved him, girls. I loved him so much that it broke me to lose him."

Naomi and Owlet shared a secretive glance. I looked between the two of them. "What aren't you two telling me?" My tail tip flicked back and forth slowly in mild agitation.

Naomi turned her head and looked back at me, her blue eyes sparkling happily. "Mama, Naoko left you with a piece of him." I stared at her confused.

Owlet chuckled. "Mama, you're pregnant!"

I stared at her in disbelief. _How? We hardly saw each other before his death._ My eyes widened in shock and wonder as I counted the months since I began noticing symptoms. My paws found their way to my swollen belly. The one night we had any sort of intimate contact that would result in this happening was back in October. I counted the months again and discovered that I was indeed pregnant. Naomi and Owlet rushed forward to hug me. They chattered on about how happy they were for me and they couldn't wait to meet their little sister or brother. I began to recover from my shock and a smile graced my features. Owlet looked at me and Naomi followed suit. "We believe that you are 7 months pregnant. So in about two months you'll be due." I nodded along with what they were saying and gently felt my paws along my belly. _How can I be seven months?_ I shook my head to clear all the worrying thoughts and smiled. _I'm having Naoko's baby. He will be with me in my heart and in our child._


	39. May 27th: Making a nursery

May 27th: Creating the Nursery

Dear Diary,

Once everyone in both the village and Panda village found out, I was showered with gifts for the baby. They were for both girl and boy since I don't know the gender. I'm assuming I am having one. My children each sent me something and they plan on staying the last two months to help me out. Wolfess is two now and is excited to be a big sister. Master Leopard helped her pick something out. She picked a blanket out that could go for either gender. It was so beautiful. I do believe that I have more than enough things. Shifu gave me a room to use for a nursery. It is close by my room so I can get to them quickly. I have decided to make it very warm and open. Baba helped me out with that. He and Li shan along with Crane and Monkey decorated the walls with oragami figurines of nature glued to the wall. It was so beautiful. Tigress and Viper helped me pick out a few cute baby things and all the essentials that I will need. Tigress said that I can use the quadruplets' crib to save yuan on buying a new one. I think I will keep this crib as a family heirloom. It will be the Ping Family Crib. I told Po and Tigress that and they laughed. They thought it was a great idea too.


	40. June 5th: Fear

June 5th: Fear

Dear diary,

I'm scared as the due date draws closer. Am I ready? Will my child be okay? Will I have to raise him or her alone? I hardly doubt I will, but still. My real parents are never going to find out about them. Longwei might. I know that my new family are going to find out. Once they heard the news, they came rushing over to the Jade Palace. Now I have everyone for moral support. However, I'm still scared of going through this without Naoko.


	41. July 26th: I'm a Mommy

July 26th: I'm a Mommy

Dear diary,

As I drew nearer to my due date, all of my adopted children came with Bingwen and Cobra. They wanted to keep me company since they knew that Naoko wasn't going to be present at the birth of his child. I waited until the day I was supposed to have them to tell Cobra my answer to his question so long ago. "Mei? Is it the baby?" He asked as he entered my room.

I shook my head and motioned for him to join me on the bed. He slithered up and coiled himself slightly. "What is it then?"

I looked him dead in the eye. "Remember when you asked me if we could one day be together and I told you that I would wait for that day?" He nodded. I took in a deep breath and looked at my paws before looking back up at him. "Naoko is my soulmate and he will always be in my heart. But I can't go on hurting any longer. You and the others helped me so much getting here, that I can't see myself without you by my side." I swallowed as confusion entered Cobra's gaze. "What I'm saying is, will you be the father of my child? I still love you as deeply as I did back then, but.." I trailed off.

Cobra smiled as realization dawned in his yellow eyes. "I would be honored to help you raise yours and Naoko's baby. I know that we may never have the same relationship as we once did, but I'm willing to mend that."

My eyes filled with tears. _Stupid hormones._ Cobra used his tail tip to wipe some of them away. "Thank you.'" I mumbled through the tears. We talked for a while and decided to tell everyone during dinner. As I was standing up from my bed, I felt a sharp pain and looked down to see water gushing to the floor. I trembling moved my eyes to meet Cobra's. "Get my mother." I mewed as I struggled to maintain my composure. He left in a hurry and before long Tigress rushed in.

She grabbed me by the arms and looked at the mess. I was trying hard to control myself as the pain from the contractions began coming faster. I had felt them all day, it was just slow and far in between, so I didn't think nothing of it. "Ma." I murmured trembling.

She hugged me, "It's going to be alright. Now let's get you into bed and in something more comfortable. I looked down at the hanfu I was wearing and nodded. Tigress helped me change clothes into a simple night gown. I curled up on the bed as she left to get what she needed. Naomi and Owlet followed her in. I heard murmuring and tried to sit up to see. Owlet shook her head at me and I laid back down. Both girls turned and opened the door wide enough to poke their heads through. I heard them tell whoever was outside to please go somewhere else as I was getting nervous. I listened paitently as they told me what was going to happen and what I needed to do. When the first pain hit, it was so unbearable that I wanted to scream, but I could only think of Naoko and how he should be here too. I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I felt Cobra gently shaking me.

I woke to Naomi and Owlet smiling with tears brimming in their eyes. "Girls, what's up?" I mumbled blearily. Both of them tried to say something but were too choked up. I glanced down and noticed that someone had changed my clothes into something else. My bedding was changed also. I heard the door open and turned my head tiredly to look. Mama came back in and I could see Zinnia, Flicka, Wren, and Minzhe in the hallway with Mr. Ping, Li shan, Baba, Shifu, Mantis, Crane, Monkey, Viper, and my adopted family waiting patiently. "Well done sweetie. You have given birth to two daughters and a son." She gently hoisted them up in her arms and laid them tenderly against my chest. I looked lovingly at their scrunched up faces. Only two resembled their parents almost spot on. The third had spots mixed with stripes. I named her Zhilan. My son which looked exactly like his father except for a spot here and there that were snow white, I named Jun. My other daughter was an almost perfect copy of me except for the blood red-brown fur splashed on her muzzle. Her name was Xiao Zhi. I cuddled them all and thought to Naoko. _Here are our beautiful children, my hero. Meet Jun, Xiao Zhi, and Zhilan._ Cobra turned to me and smiled. "He would have been so proud." He whispered as he touched each cub on the cheek. I nodded, too tired to feel grief. "Cobra, do you think Master Croc will let you stay up here?"

He nodded. "Everyone came. Even our adopted family. Wohop came too. He felt that he even though Chun Hua died, he can at least be here for her."

I smiled softly. "Their names are, Jun, Xiao Zhi, and Zhilan." I mewed quietly as I moved my gaze from one to the next.

Cobra gave me a big smile and before long everyone that was waiting filtered in to see them and to give us congragulations. I felt that they were saying congragulation to Naoko too.


	42. Nov 18th: Happy Birthday

November 18th: Happy Birthday, my younger siblings

Dear friend,

Another year I grow older. It has been four years since I was kidnapped and four years since the birth of my baby siblings. I'm so proud of them. They have grown so much over the year. I am now 20. I can't believe it. Neither can Baba and Mama. They still see me as the young teenager who came they rescued during a fight and fell in love with. For our birthday, we had a party thrown for us. It was a little different than the past birthdays at the palace. My triplets were present, but my adopted children weren't. Cobra was there and so was Bingwen. Each of them were holding one of my babies. They are 3 months and 21 days old. We kept it fairly simple since four of us share the same birthday. I don't want to share it with anyone else though, dear book. We had so much fun playing the games that Shifu and Mei Ling set up. Bingwen, Cobra, and I mainly sat around and watched my younger siblings play. We talked amongst ourselves. I played tag with my siblings once, because they asked me too. They were saying that I'm almost no fun anymore because I'm a mommy. Cobra and Bingwen laughed so hard that they nearly fell out of their seats if it weren't for them holding, Xiao Zhi, Zhilan, and Jun. So after I played tag with Wren, Zinnia, Flicka, and Minzhe, Tigress said that it was time for cake. I smiled fondly as they raced over to wear Baba was playing a delicous honey cake on the table. I walked more slowly over to the others and sat down, pulling one of the four into my lap. I recieved a smile and we all began singing. It was pretty hard to do, because I was singing for the quadruplets and they were singing for me. We all managed to make it work, though.


	43. November 23: On Our Own

November 23rd: On Our Own

Dear diary,

It is hard to be a mother of three young children and a full time master. I know that I have Cobra and Bingwen to help me and they truly do. However, I feel like I'm still alone after Naoko. Xiao zhi, Zhilan, and Jun are officially four years old and the quadruplets are 8. I have decided that my kids could begin to train in Kung fu so the family tradition can continue. They are so cute when they try to copy their Uncle Bingwen. Baba placed him in charge of my kids so I could focus on helping the other masters train Minzhe, Zinnia, Flicka, and Wren with the village students. Wren mainly stays with Viper because she has more paitence than the others. Wai gong still watches our training, but he has given that task over to Po now. I see what Tigress meant when they found out that I was pregnant, that I was going to have a hard road ahead of me. It was easier with my adopted family because most of them were older and the older ones helped the younger. Now that I have my own kids to raise, I see that it is entirely different. While I may have loved my adopted traveling family like they were my biological family, it is something else when you have kids who are biological. At least I'm not exhausted all the time like I was in the beginning. Cobra and I had it rough. Ma offered to help, but I told her that if she and Baba managed to raise the quadruplets without help, then I could too. We managed to do things right. Cobra never changed a diaper before, because the youngest child we had before reaching the Palace was Wolfess, and she stayed in my arms or Naomi's most of the time. so this is a new exprience for the both of us.


End file.
